Infant Adoption, Domestic Adoption, Open Adoption - Pros and Cons
On the surface, domestic infant adoption seems like such a good
thing, providing homes for orphans and babies for people who are
suffering from infertility or are gay and want to adopt. Everyone
has heard about how "everyone benefits" from adoption.
But there are negatives as well as positives to infant adoption.
What are some of the arguments against infant adoption?
The Negative Side to Adoption:
Hosptials today try to keep mothers and babies together, to prevent
the harm that comes from separating them. No other caregiver,
not even the baby's father can take the place of her mother.
Even kittens and puppies are protected by law, in most of the United
States, from being separated from their mothers until they are suffieciently
mature. Yet, human infants are not protected - in fact naive parents
and grandparents are being led to believe a baby "won't know
the difference". With so few real orphans to be found that
are young and healthy enough to be desirable for adoption, living
family members are being separated to get babies for people to adopt.
Adoption businesses are expanding.
Nancy Verrier has become famous for her book "The Primal Wound"
which reveals the suffering of the baby separated from her mother
and used for adoption.
Primal Wound - Legacy of the Adopted Child
But THE TRUTH ABOUT INFANT ADOPTION WAS KNOWN TO PROFESSIONALS
A LONG TIME AGO. Just look at this webpage revealing the known
consequences of separating mothers and babies and adoption.
Consequences of Separating Mothers and Babies for Adoption
Open Adoption - Has it Made Adoption Desirable for Mothers
Through the wizardry of the adoption industry, more and more infants
are being "found" for adoption customers. "Open"
adoption is now being sucessfully utilized by adoption attorneys
and adoption agencies to "bring more birthmothers to adoption"
(ie, get more babies for the real customers of "adoption services").
The adoption industry also uses "sleight of hand" in the
form of so-called "respectful adoption language" to make
it appear that the person who has the money to get a baby is the
"real mother" and the actual mother is just a "biological"
mother or "birthmother" (aka birth object). Single mothers
are often derisively referred to as "unwed" or "unmarried"
to make them seem as thought they are "less than" the
real mother of their own child. Infant adoption is even being described
as a "Christian" thing to do. But even with open adoption,
mothers and babies are still being separated at or soon after birth,
a practice that is traumatizing for them and affects them for life.
Many adoption promoters say "things have changed" with
adoption - they advertise that with "open" adoption, mothers
have "all the choices". The only options that parents
and grandparents do NOT seem to be advised of are the options
that would help them keep their family intact. That means that
more and more human beings are being deprived of their own mothers,
fathers, grandparents and siblings.
With open adoption, the people who adopted still have all the power.
When the adopted child becomes old enough to distinguish that the
person who adopted her is not her real mother, all contact with
her natural family may be cut off - if it wasn't already cut off
soon after the adoption was finalized. The adopted child can cry
all she wants to, wanting to visit with her mother, grandparents
or siblings. For that matter, the kept siblings can cry about not
getting to see their sister or brother - and they often do. But
their cries are like a tree falling in the forest when no one is
listening. The suffering of the true family goes completely unacknowledged.
When a mother lured into open adoption commits suicide, no one even
notices. This surely is not best for any child and not good for
In response to the question: "Are there any negatives to domestic
adoption or open adoption?" the answer is a resounding "yes".
In addition to the arguments opposed to adoption already mentioned
above, fathers often get no choice about their child's fate. Even
the customers who are paying for "services" designed to
get them a baby are being lied to. Many adoptive "parents"
become very depressed when they come to the realization that the
child they have acquired through infant adoption does really make
up for not having a child of their own.
>> Return to Domestic Adoption Facts