Quotes
from Adoptive "Parents" - the real customers of adoption
"services"
BEFORE
and AFTER They Get Your Baby
BEFORE
They Get Your Baby:
See "Dear BirthMother.Com" for classic
examples of the sweet, enticing lures that predatory adopters
use for obtaining babies. These letters are designed to build
trust, to make you feel "special" for considering adoption,
for giving them 'the ultimate gift." To make you believe
that they are the "perfect parents" for your baby.
AFTER
They Get Your Baby:
"Make
that mother look like a Saint. Then blind-side her, she won't
know what hit her. When I had to be NICE to [the] girls' mothers
I just about died inside, but once the termination was over, I
just told her what a piece of crap she was. I don't know your
story. But, I will pray that you get to keep [her] child."-
anonymous adopter shares her knowledge of adoption tactics
"Ramsay
has only one mother, Karen, and one father, me. ... Ramsay shall
remain an integral part of my family and shall not be 'shared'
in any way, shape or form." - adoptive father in a very
cruel email to a reunited natural mother in response to her mentioning
that their 21-yr-old son now had 4 loving parents - October 16,
2001.
"Being
a resident of one of those 18 states (that have supposed legally
enforceable Open Adoption Agreements) I can tell you that there
are enough loopholes in the "open adoption" law to make
it almost unenforcable. Example: Our adoption agreement with M's
birthmother clearly states that if she ever brings legal action
against us the contact agreement is null and void. Translation:
If we decided to cut contact with her, her only legal recourse
would be to file a civil suit against us. But in doing so she
would be nullifying the original agreement that she signed. She
might be awarded some money (though doubtful) but there would
no longer be a legally binding contact agreement." - An
adoptive father's post from an adoption board.
"Giving
your child to a stranger is NOT natural!" -
adoptive mother on alt.adoption.
"...
were you very young and gave a child up for adoption and realized
you made a mistake. Did you honestly feel at a young age you could
handle the responsibility of careing for a child. Or do you feel
the system screwed you. I know your theory is short term problem
for a permanent solution, but hey get real...a 14 - 15 yr old
girl being upset about a temporary problem to later cry WOLF."
- "Hotdiggity" on MSN Adoption Insights.
Regarding
Telling a Child That He or She is Adopted (from http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/other/nswlrc/rpt69/00132.html):
"I have
never told my daughter that she is adopted, and I know she would
be devastated. It was my husband's dying wish, that she would
never know, that he was not her real father."
"[W]e
have raised two children from the tender ages of 6 weeks of age
and 3 weeks of age respectively. They are now in their 30's. Our
family have not been told of their adoption as in that era we
were advised it was our decision to make. "
"When
my husband and I adopted our baby son in 1955 we were given absolute
assurance that no information would ever be released as to him
or our whereabouts, we therefore chose NOT to tell him he was
adopted."
"I am
83 and have two adoptive children, neither of whom know that they
are adopted. When these children were adopted back in the 1940s
we were advised by the Social Workers, Doctors also the Government
authority NOT to reveal this to them as there were sinister connotations
with these children, ie. Children of murderers, Children of prostitutes,
Children of people in asylums, Children of unmarried women, etc.
so I have never revealed these intimate and personal details to
my children."
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