Press Release
(PRWEB) April 13,
2004 -- Susan Burns, Psy.D. is undoubtedly proud of her book "Fast
Track Infant Adoption" which provides prospective adopters
some ideas on how to go about soothing a frightened young woman's
fears and making her feel she is making a good decision for her
child.
But, there is one
angle her book does not cover: How will your adopted child's natural
mother feel when she finds out how proud you are of the methods
you used to talk her out of her child? How will she feel when
you break all the promises you made to her?
Burns writes: "Without
an agency's interference, (the child's parents) and (the people
considering adoption) have a greater voice in in making key decisions,
often resulting in a better "fit" for everyone involved."
"...knowing about
the (prospective) adopting family prior to the placement can assist
a (natural) mother in her grieving process by reassuring her that
she has made the right choice."
It seems unlikely
to me that Burns is truly concerned about everyone involved or
about the grieving process of a mother who has lost her child
to adoption.
I got this email today
(April 9, 2004) from a friend who is very involved with the open
adoption community:
"I'm grieving
my good friend right now. Cindy was a member of my adoption group
for a year and a half -- we were supposed to meet next month.
The (people who adopted) her daughter broke promises and Cindy
never recovered. She took her life yesterday. Her daughter will
be three on the 19th."
"I'm trying to
help the members of my group ...and myself grieve. We were all
SO close. She also left behind two teen boys. Please keep them
in your prayers."
"(The woman who
adopted her daughter) wrote the sickening new adoption book "Fast
Track Infant Adoption" ...and may even appear on 20/20
talking about how to get a baby quick. Cindy found out about this
book by accident and was devastated by it's contents and how she
was left out and used. Forgotten."
Many people are unaware
of this dark side of adoption. The adoption industry has found
ways to thwart attempts by natural moms and adoptees to voice
their concerns about unethical adoption practices. One of the
most revolting of the tactics used to obtain babies is the promise
of "open adoption", the promise of continued contact
with their child, made only with the intent to lure in unsuspecting
mothers who might have otherwise kept their child. Open adoption
agreements are not legally binding as other child custody or visitation
agreements are and this frequently has devastating consequences.
Many a mother is grieving the loss of a child to adoption. This
grieving is compounded when she has so obviously, blatantly been
used as a baby-making machine and then tossed out like yesterday's
garbage once her child is in possession of the adopters. In Cindy's
case, not only she but her sons and probably other familly members
were expecting contact with their sister, granddaughter, neice
as well.
This is for Cindy
and all other moms who have been so used. This is for Cindy's
daughter, her sons, her mother and father, her whole family. I
hope our churches will mention this from the pulpit and work to
enact change. I hope our human rights organizations will take
note and work to enact changes. I hope women's organizations will
for once stand up for these women who have been so long marginalized
in this way and work to prevent further abuse.
Not everyone benefits
from adoption and it's time people knew about it and did something.
Those mothers and
fathers who are making a decision whether to keep their child
or surrender their child for adoption deserve legal protections
which include real information about the emotional risks to themselves,
their child and other family members. They deserve to be protected
from slick advertising and sales pitches from those seeking to
adopt independently, from the adoption industry and from adoption
lawyers. They deserve to be protected from the pressure put on
them to choose prospective adopters before their child is even
born which makes it very hard for them to disappoint them later.
They deserve to be
treated with the respect due a human being, with the respect due
a parent who is trying to make the best decision possible for
their child and their families.
Source for press release:
Infant
Adoption Ends in Suicide
Related material:
"Infant
Adoption and Reproductive Technologies Press Releases"
