I
would not believe everything the CAS tell you - they (and the
CCAS which I had to deal with) are famous for making up information
as they go along - I found at least 20 mistakes on my non-id to
my son, not to mention the mistakes and omissions on the non-id
of his birthfather and even himself. You just would not believe
the lies the CAS tell about people - mainly so the adoptee doesn't
want to find the birthparents and that it makes it harder for
searching.
I
had put my son into foster care as I was being abused and stalked
by an ex-boyfriend who was a mental patient. He deluded himself
that he was my son's father when he was not. Sadly, he kept telling
the CCAS that he was the father. I kept telling the CCAS that
he wasn't.
The
CCAS said that I didn't know who the father was - that was very
upsetting for me as I did know and told them. My son's birthfather
tried to see our son (he was still legally the father) but was
refused access at the time. The social worker then told him that
I didn't know who the father was, that I was a slut that sleep
with countless men, that I didn't want our son (BIG LIE!) and
that he probably wasn't the father. When he heard all this, he
signed the papers and left me because of countless lies he was
told. He has since tracked me down and begged for forgiveness
- he said that the authorities had confused him and convinced
him that I was a terrible person and that he wasn't the father.
They convinced him that my son needed to be taken from me for
his welfare and that I was unfit to parent. He didn't abandon
me in the true sense of the word - when our son was born he was
thousands of miles away. He got on a plane, proposed to
me and wanted to support me and our son. He was chased away
behind my back with lies. He now has great regrets and guilt over
leaving me. I forgive him as he was as much a victim as I was.
I
am pleased to say that for the past 13 years, my son's birthfather
has been helping me to search and together we have found our son.
We have both written to him - his birthfather still cares about
him and still gets upset over not being allowed to hold his son
as a baby. I feel what the CCAS did to us was immoral as well
as illegal - all they wanted to do was break up me and my son's
father to get my baby at any cost. It was common practice at the
time to remove any support that the birthmother was able to get
including chasing the father away and then claim that the father
abandoned the mother.
Before
you come to any conclusions about anything CAS tells you about
your natural parents, please ask your natural parents first. You
would be amazed at the agency lies that surround adoption.
