Support Groups

ORIGINS INC. (Australia) (recommended!!) "... founded in 1995 by exiled mothers who, having lost their children to adoption, were being continuously re-traumatised each time so-called "experts and health professionals" minimized and invalidated the severe emotional anguish, trauma, and grief left in the wake of their adoption experience, assuming that we, as mothers, should have accepted the loss of our living babies - as if it were possible to do that."  This group accomplished the impossible:  their efforts produced a parliamentary inquiry which pronounced coercive adoption practices (modelled on those in the U.S. and Canada) to be illegal and unethical. Check out their online support group.

Origins-USA. "Supporting All Mothers Separated From Their Children By Adoption. ....  goal: to insure that all mothers are protected from past and present exploitation by the adoption industry through an investigation into past practices for obtaining children for adoption.

Baby Scoop Research Initiative "Founded in 2007 by two mothers dedicated to research, education and inquiry into the period of American adoption history known as the Baby Scoop Era, The Baby Scoop Era Research Initiative is established on principles of historical accuracy, truth and justice. We demand acknowledgement of the historical truth surrounding adoption practice in the United States during the Baby Scoop Era. We demand recognition for the millions of women who were systematically denied their inalienable right to raise their infant sons and daughters".

Adoption Crossroads "the only organization in America that supports Adoptees and Exiled Mothers." Check out their "Adoptese" Chatroom. and the Adoptese Message Board

Sunflower Support Page.  A moderated support group for first-mothers. Three support groups lists for exiled mothers: Searching, Reunited (the well-known "RBM list"), and Rejected. A good group for those at the start of the healing-journey, who are not at the anger-stage yet.

Concerned United Birthparents (C.U.B.)   P.O. Box 230457, Encinitas, CA 92023, 1-800-822-2777 Fax: 760-929-1879

"Adopting-Back" Our Stolen Children     Join: After the post-WWII rise of the adoption industry, millions of mothers lost infants through forced/coerced surrender (legalized abduction). Many of us, now reunited with our adult children, have restored loving family relationships with them. As mother and child, our legally-recognition as "being family" was forcefully taken away from us by strangers. Now, reunited, do we want it back?

 

Support Groups - Canada

Origins Canada: The Canadian affiliate of Origins Inc. (above)

Canadian Council of Natural Mothers (CCNM)   "Providing a united voice for natural mothers who seek openness in adoption."  Website has good links page of information on searching for natural relatives AND understanding the impact of adoption.

Support Groups - United Kingdom & Ireland

Forgotten Mothers is open to everyone with a genuine interest in adoption past - present - future and debate is encouraged. Support, advice and expertise is available for single mothers and fathers. It's free to join, there's no mandate, censorship or restrictions. Our non-discrimination policy ensures no one is excluded on gounds of religion, race, politics, sexual orientation or age. Forgotten Mothers is sponsored by Trackers International a non-profit organisation founded in 1979 that reunited 12,000 before the law was changed. And it's the only adoption investigation organisation in Europe.

Natural Parent's Network (N.P.N.) "For natural parents and relatives who have lost children to adoption." "NPN operates nationwide in the U.K. and has over 1200 members since it started in 1987."

Natural Parents Network of Ireland (N.P.N.I.) contact: naturalparents@indigo.ie "The Natural Parents Network is a voluntary self-help organisation formed in 1996 by a group of women who had been parted from their children by adoption in the past. We provide help to natural families separated by adoption in four ways: Individual advice by email or letter; Monthly open meetings; Information to Media on adoption issues; Views to Government on adoption legislative reform." NPNI
PO Box 6714, Dublin 4, Eire

"The [adopters’] lobby actually wanted all birth records effectively "buried" so that there would be no means by which any connection could be made between natural mothers and their adopted children.." Briefing paper for Father Churchill. Natural Parents Network of Ireland, MAY 24, 1999

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

"Post Traumatic Stress Disorder".   A good article on Discovery.Com. Many exiled mothers experience Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after losing their babies to adoption, especially after reunion when repressed memories resurface.

PTSD - Facts for Health. Includes a "Do you have PTSD?" questionnaire.

Origins NSW has information on PTSD and the mental health consequences of surrender.

Black-Market Adoption

DID YOU LOSE YOUR BABY TO "BLACK MARKET"* ADOPTION?

Maybe you were told your baby had died, but the doctor WOULDN'T LET YOU SEE THE BODY.
Maybe you began searching for your lost son/daughter and discovered that there is NO ADOPTION RECORD or BIRTH CERTIFICATE

* Black market adoption: the sale of infants by unscrupulous people to adopters willing to do anything to obtain someone else's baby. Mothers may have been told that their babies had died.

Black Market Adoptee's Registry.  dedicated to "black market" adoptees 

"Black Market" Adoption Webring :  Sites dealing with the issue of "black market" baby brokers, and sites of adult adoptees whose adoptions were black market and who are in search of their original families.

Black Market Adoption. An article by M. Haviland

The Cole Baby Registry. Cole Babies are adoptees born in Miami, Florida, between 1927 and 1963, adopted through Katherine M. Cole, Ruby Sutera, or Ephrain Suarez (The Suarez Clinic). Dr. Cole allegedly falsified names, addresses, and even the sex of the baby on birth certificates and other documents, and may have separated twins. If you are a birth mother and you see a date you recognize, please contact us, even if you believe the sex of the baby listed is incorrect.

Bessie Bernard: Black Market Baby Broker. This site contains info regarding Bessie Bernard, who was notorious for black market adoptions in which the child was born in Florida and placed in New York

DNA Testing for Adoptees and Natural Parents Genetic searches are often the only way a black-market-adoption victim -- parent or child -- can find their missing family members.

Personal Websites of Exiled Mothers:

An Exiled Mother's Story. by Karen Wilson Buterbaugh - Adoption in a time (1966) when unwed pregnant mothers were incarcerated in maternity "homes" by their parents, with the condition of admittance to the facility being surrender of their babies.

Healing Dismembered Families: Adopting-Back the Adult Children We Lost to adoption as infants -- restoring the legal ties ("filiation") severed by strangers when they took our infants by force and coercion. Forcably separated and made "legal strangers" to each other by baby brokers and industry customers (adopters), we can now as adults choose to restore our LEGALLY-RECOGNIZED family relationship.

"Out of the Fog" by "Suzie Kidnap". An online video in which mothers speak about adoption. VERY POWERFUL! :)

The Demeter Project

"Vicki L. Ayres Master of Arts Thesis Exhibit" This work is in the form of autobiographical episodic series that reveal the pain and trauma of losing my only child to adoption.

"Mothers for Open Records Everywhere" by Linda Freeman

"How They Stole My Baby: The Secrets and Lies of an "Open Adoption" by Sharon Smith - One mother's experience with the "Small Miracles" adoption agency in Colorado.

Adopt-A-Pundit " Surviving Adoption - The Life, Times And Opinions Of A Natural Mother

Mothers in Exile Adoption Website "My name is Erika Klein and I am a natural mother separated by adoption in 2001. My 4-year-old daughter Emma was taken by child welfare authorities and put up for adoption after spending the first 16 months with me and her older sister. My older daughter and I remain together but we miss Emma greatly. This website is dedicated to people separated and afflicted by the scars of adoption."

Otherwise-okay Sites which unfortunately use the term that social wreckers coined for us in order to limit us to being reproduction units or "breeders":

The Mother Tree  "For many years I've wanted to do something to honor not only my loss, but the losses that all mothers suffer when we surrender our children for adoption. We've been kept silent and in the shadows for too long. We've done nothing wrong, and nothing to be ashamed of.  ...  We who love our children so much that we gave them a better life despite our own pain deserve to be recognized and honored for making the ultimate sacrifice."

Other:

"birthMothers Day  The patronizing advertising says, "This is a day to honor and remember the women who lost their children to adoption."  Many of us feel that having this day is patronizing and derogatory, valuing us for being "selfless breeders" when our children were taken by force, fraud, and coercion. As well, it implies that we are not worthy enough to be honoured on Mothers Day. To learn more, read: The CCBM Policy on "birthMothers Day", "A Personal Response to birthmothers Day". and "birthMothers Day Celebrations" from an Adopted Adult's Perspective.

THE FOLLOWING WEBSITES ARE SPONSORED BY THE ADOPTION INDUSTRY AND ENCOURAGE WOMEN TO SURRENDER. STATEMENTS CRITICAL OF OR DISCOURAGING ADOPTION ARE NOT PERMITTED ON THEIR MESSAGE BOARDS.

www.adoption.com
www.adoption.org
www.adoptiveparents.com
www.adoptionology.com
www.adoptionnewsletters.com
www.adoptionsites.com
www.adoptionsearch.com
www.adopting.org
www.adoptionlists.com
www.adoptionforums.com
www.adoptionnetwork.com
www.adoptionfinancing.com
www.adoptiondirectory.com
www.adoptionstatistics.com
www.adoptiontaxcredit.com
www.adoptionshop.com
www.adoptionoption.com
www.adoptionoption.org
www.abcadoptions.org

www.openadoptions.com
www.openadoptions.org
www.open-adoption.org
www.open-adoption.com

www.birthmother.com
www.birthmother.org
www.fosterparenting.com
www.internationaladoption.org

www.parentprofiles.com

Other Resource Pages:
Especially for Exiled Fathers
General Adoption-related Resources
Recommended Books