I have found my son's whereabouts. Not able to speak to him. Adopters say he does not want contact. Said he has to digest things. Was told I had no education, financial or family support. Was told I was not happy with placing but would if he went to a Preacher's family. ALL LIES.

As a child I spent the better portion of life trying to get something done about sexual abuse of my sisters and I. This was from a friend of the family. He was given a place to stay at our house. I soon realized he was my mothers intimate friend. It did not stop there. After a lot of things had gone on mother finally tired of him and started with someone new. I finally had enough. I confronted my mother. Of course I was imagining these things. These people were just friends of the family and trying to be friends with us girls. This is what was said when I confronted my mother. I still knew the difference. I called the police. They meet me at the home of the boyfriend. My father was there when the police arrived. The officer asked my father if he wanted to press charges. My father said no. The officer looked at me and said,"Sorry little girl there is nothing I can do."

I could not stand it so I started running away from home. I was found and brought back. . I was sent to Brother Lester Roloff's Home in Corpus Christi. Oct. 1969. I was 14 yrs. old. I was suppose to stay 6 months. It turned into 3 years.

While at the home I did everything I could think of to go home. I ran away within the first year. I was home for 2 weeks. My mother told me we needed to go get my clothes. We went back out to the Home. My mother stepped outside the office. I was then informed I was staying. I told the workers I just came to get my clothes. When I walked out of the office I saw my mother had gone. She just left me there. I guess it was a good way to shut my mouth so I would never say anything about her boyfriends.

The people who ran the home never let me forget my parents did not want me. I was often told I would live there until I was to old. Then I would go to the home in Georgia for young adults. From there I would go to the Valley Home for the elderly. When I died I would be brought back and buried across the street from the home in the Robstown Cemetery. At 15 I thought they did have control over my whole life. I tried to kill myself. They found me and made me stay awake and slapped me if I stated to drift off. They had given me something to make me vomit the pills I took.

For the next 2 years I just did as I was told. If not I would be whipped. Many times I got whipped for causing trouble or trying to run away again. I was seeing a boy who had come to the home who was a friend of the people who ran the home. He stayed with there son and one night snuck to my room. I was so lonely, and felt so unwanted for many years that I had relations with this boy. Finally in Nov. of 1972 they called my mother. I went home

I did not realize at this time I was pregnant. I had a suspicion by Dec. But I said nothing. In Jan. of 1973 my mother was going to have my tonsils removed as I was always sick. I was taken to the Orthopedic Hosp. This is where my pregnancy was confirmed. I was still scheduled for surgery. I believe in was done in hopes that I would have a spontaneous abortion. I did not have one. After release from the hosp. I was very sick. My mother had already contacted Bro. Roloff. Next thing I know I am on a bus to Mississippi. Too sick to fight, I was left there. I wrote to my sister begging for her to help me. They were going to take my baby. I never got a reply to my pleas. I tried to run away when I was abut 6 months pregnant. They found me and took me back to the home. We were always locked up at night, but after my attempt to run I was closely watched all the time. Spent most of the next 3 months in my room.

On Aug. 17 1973 I went to Forrest General to have my baby. I asked the nurses to bring him to me. They said it was not allowed. I went back to the home after my release from the hospital. I was then taken to an office where I was told to sign papers. Everything was covered up. I cried what seemed like hours. They kept telling me as soon as I sign these papers they would call my sister to come get me. I finally signed.

My sister came and got me. We went back to Corpus. I was not home long when a local TV Station came to the house. They did an interview I told part of my story. At this time Brother Roloff had a lot of problems with the State wanting him to become State approved. No one contacted me after the interview to say I had rights or anything. I knew then that they did have total control over everything.

Brother Roloff would never allow the State into his homes. This would interfere with the control over the girls. Severly depressed, not able to stay with a sister who would not help, I left her house to go live on the streets. We were never given the education they say. You can track down a lot of the girls and see just who received there education there. I did not get even a High School Diploma. I never had any family support. THEY SAW TO THAT. I found out they kept any mail that had any reference to keeping my child

When I finally realized that I did have rights, and I could have walked out of the home or hospital with my baby I also realized there is a 2 years statutory limit to reverse or contest the adoption. I then just waited until my son became of age to search, I did not want to disrupt the life of a child who would not understand what was going on. Only that some strange woman was trying to take him from the only family he knew. The more I searched the more I realized that what was done in the home was very wrong. I also realized the injustice still continues. I have come across a handful of adoptees and birth mothers searching from the homes. They also have found there is no information to be obtained.

I would just like to know there is justice in this world. I in no way want to cause any harm or pain to my son. But possibly alleviate any pain that may have been done to him in all this.

There are so many adoptees searching for there Birth parents who come upon the great wall as I have. They do not search because they were not loved, or maybe they do!

All adoptees should have the right to know their lineage. Who they really are. I realize the adoption laws have changed now, but what about those of us when it was something that was not to be talked about.What about us who had there children taken while in a home such as this not realizing it was CRIMINAL having our babies taken this way. In this day and age all records should have a mediator to make contact and see if the other person does want to know. To keep all these people in the adoption triangle away from there in born desires to find there genetic link is a continuation of injustice.

Even though the adoptees and birth families have grown to become well rounded individuals there is a part that always stays as a missing link. I personally as a birth mother can tell you there is always a black hole in my heart that needs some light.

Something for just a little peace of comfort from the pain
Gwenlee Chapman Brewer