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Guestbook Entries - February 2003 to February 2004

Gene | @ | url
Minnesota Coalition for Adoption Reform is working on new legislation that will allow adopted adults access to their original birth certificates. We need all the help and support we can get! Contact your friends and relatives in MN to get onboard; visit our website:
Legislators say they want to protect the older birthmothers, but we all know those older birthmothers are dying in grief from not being able to reunite with their children. - 03 February 2004 - Minnesota, USA

abby | @
I was a young pregnant teen I did not like the idea of an adoption agency so I chose a private adoption. This week I called the attorney to have a release of information form mailed to me and found out that he (attorney) was partners with Stanley Michelman in NY. Michelman ran an unethical adoption agency in NY. I was floored. I am now stuck!!! I was betrayed and deceived by an attorney that I thought had my son's best interest at heart. How can this happen? This was in SC in 1981. I would never do it again. Adoption stinks if it is not done with the birthmother's and child's best interest. - 24 January 2004 - US/CT

Webmistress comments: -  Hi Abby: I have forwarded your message to someone in NY who may have information. Keep searching for answers.


teresa | @
looking for birth daughter born 10-23-1983 - 20 January 2004 - ga

Webmistress comments: -  Teresa: You might try going to Click on "Search Support Sites" (on the left margin), then on the page it brings you to, scroll down and click on the state you're searching in. A number of groups are listed there that may be able to help. All the best.

Linda Webber | @
Well, Bill Pierce died of cancer, but his work and the work of the NCFA lives on with the creation of bill HR 7 This bills intent is to create 'group homes for pregnant women'. HR 7: Charitable Giving Act of 2003.
Includes a provision that provides funding for maternity group homes to provide pregnant women with information regarding the option of placing children for adoption through licensed adoption service providers; assistance with prenatal care and child birthing; and pre- and post-placement adoption counseling. Referred to the House Subcommittee on Select Education on June 20, 2003. Passed and agreed to by House on September 17, 2003. Received in Senate on September 17, 2003.
Contact your Congressional representatives to ask for their support in defeating these legislative initiatives.
House of Representatives
PS. I read the documents of 'The infant adoption Act' before they deleted them and they stated that too many Moms are keeping their babies when they have family support so they advocated as the solution to recreate the 'homes' It is a well known fact that mind control works best without a support system. President Bush is tight with the National Council for Adoption who has a strong lobby powered by adoption agencies. The truth is because of birthcontrol, abortion and more women keeping their babies there is a shortage of Healthy white infants up for sell to wealthy clients of the over billion dollar industry. Services for women and children have decreased while tax credits for adoption has increased.
These programs do not address foster children or abused child. The adoption brokers want infants. The US and Somalia were the only two countries that would not sign the UN Mandate for the rights of the child. Why? Because it is stated that whenever possible a child should remain with their natural family and this is not very adoption friendly to those whose purpose is to buy and sell children. Too many people in America believe that if they can buy it they are entitled to it. And this unfortunately is also the mind set of wealthy childless couples. We must go in truth,love and action! Linda Webber - 18 January 2004 - northern Calif.

Peggy Koehler(KNAPP) | @
I was adopted though a BLACK MARKET adoption in 1967. My birthmothers maiden name was KNAPP. I have been searching for 19 years. I love you for your choice to give me life and hope to meet you one day. - 15 January 2004

Sandra Jean (Woods)(Wilkerson)Gobely | @
I am a 51 year old Adoptee looking for any bio family. Birth date, March 25, 1952, in Fort Worth TX to Martha (Wilkerson) Woods and Howard Woods. Adopted by Grandfather, John h Wilkerson and his third wife, Rita June (Burke) Wilkerson , 1955 in Mich. - 15 January 2004 - I am in Apache Junction, AZ

susan church
Birth Mother Susan Ann Bickert - Church
Birth Father Rodney Andrew Church
Female Born in May of 1972-3
Mt Diablo Hospital
Contra Costra County
Was told infant had died but with held baby’s body and there is no birth or death records available
Contact Susan Church by snail mail;
POB 332
Priest River, ID 83856
Her name would have been Crystal Ann - 15 January 2004 - usa

Maryn | @
Hello, I am an adoptee, and my heart goes out the mothers that have had their children stolen away from them so to speak. I was put up for adoption when i was an infant, and it has been an issue for me my entire life. I have always yearned to know my mother, at least to know if she loved or hated me. its the not knowing that kills you i think. im sure birthmothers understand that. im working on a web-site currently on open records, please come by and sign the guest-book, check out the links, maybe one of them will help you out. but keep fighting, and we will win this fight.
this is my web site, the entire link wouldnt fit on the space provided. rds.htm - 04 January 2004

Webmistress comments: -  Hello Maryn:
Out of all the hundreds of natural mothers I've met on-line and off, all have loved their children and have lived with unspeakable sorrow from being separated from them, such as myself. Sadly, there are situations out there in our society where mental illness or a history of having been abused as a child can get in the way of forming healthy attachments, but I pray you find your mother healthy, and come to know her love for you. All the best to you in your search.

Bonnie Hughes | @
I know some of you ladies from first contact with Sunflowers in 1998 I believe. I found my daughter who was stolen from me in Michigan in 1969. I made first contact in Sept. 2000 and we met a year later. We have had our ups and downs and I have not heard from her since last contact in Sept. 2003 when she went into an early labor with her first child. This is adoption and I do not know anything about my second grandchild. I pray the baby is well. I do not know if she will ever really be in my life and I live with this each day and go on because I do have 2 other children who I love dearly and they love me. It is all I can do. My second child and his wife made me a grandmother in July 2003. My daughter did not have a good life as she was not with her mother. No one could ever replace me. She is a very confused and freightened young woman. I believe that she loves me so much and she is so sad for what was not, that it hurts to know me and her siblings. I hope in time she finds her way. Even if I am not to be a part of her life she is always in my heart, my thoughts and prayers. Adoption was NEVER the answer. Adoption is NOT the answer. - 03 January 2004

ellen | @
Finally, a site for the ACTUAL mother. Not the imposter. I am the Natural Actual mother of my daughter who I 'gave up' for adoption - at the age of 24 no less in 1972. Five years ago I contacted my daughter via the Lutheran Social Service agency that managed the adoption. They managed to interfere so profoundly with this reunion via the imfamous 'Non Idetifying information' piece of fiction that they sent to her without my consent or knowledge, that she basically tolerates that I have contacted her. She is married with two lovely children and another on the way. These are my blood relatives and I am called by my first name. Her husband got her to come and visit this past summer, it was nerve wracking and wonderful and disapointing and hopful . . . . does anybody relate?
I was deserted by the father mid pregnancy and recieved only sin and shame support from my parents, no job, (in those days pregnant women weren't hired)sooooo I went to a home for unwed mothers to get a place to live and vitamins and good food and medical care for me and the baby. I had no real concept that the price was so steep. The social worker continually told me I'd get over it, even, months later when I wrote to ask for information about how the baby was. AAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!
Now, 32 years later, I have been married to my husband of 25 years, not the father of my daughter, and we have a son who is 21 years old. I am very glad I got to have this child.
As many have said here - the pain, betrayal, propoganda, rejection of society and most painfully my daughter is never ending. It has lessened through the contact and being in her physical presence. I have and am presently seeing a counselor again. That's another story people. Most counselor's are so unaware of the pain of loss that they say very unencouraging things. And are really quite clueless and can't quite get why I, the natural mother, am so upset. Amazing. So interview the therapist first.
I plan on reading some of the books listed and encourage others to check out another adoptee rights site.
Thanks Again for this access. Ellen - 02 January 2004 - North Dakota

Tiffany Johnson | @
I am looking 4 my precious little girl born on 06/29/93 at Mcleod Regional Medical Center.Her name given at birth was Stephanie Anne Wiltse.I just want to know that she is ok and with good parents.I have registered with ISRR.NET.I tried 2 get my baby back within 15 minutes of signing relinquishment.I was told she was already gone and even if she were there,it was too late..I had already signed!I was wondering if the adoption had to be finalized in the same state as the birth mother and if there should have been any kind of waiting period before it was too late?If anyone can help,all is greatly appreciated.....I just want to know she is alive and well and for her to always KNOW that I love her no matter how far away she is!She was born in Florence,SC and the adoption took place in Myrtle Beach,SC.The attorney was Harry Pavilack & Associates.Thank you and may God bless you richly! - 02 January 2004 - South Carolina

Charles Hannasch | @ | url
I am a free-lance investigative writer interested in researching and possibly writing about - depending on what I find - abuses in the adoption process, with special emphasis on cases based on the following priorities:

1. Central Florida
2. Florida statewide
3. Raleigh - Durham - Chapel Hill, North Carolina
4. North Carolina statewide
5. Dallas, Texas
6. the Dallas - Forth Worth Metroplex
7. Texas statewide, and
8. United States
In particular, I am interested in bad things resulting from
- Dual Representation: where one attorney represents both biological and adoptive parents. Or, where the attorney representing a biological parent is paid for by the prospective adoptive parents.
- Documented cases by a state or local public adoption agency which have been covered in the local news media,
- Documented cases by a state or local public adoption agency which have not been covered in the local media,
- Documented cases by a state or local private adoption agency which have been covered in the local news media,
- Documented cases by a state or local private adoption agency which have not been covered in the local media,
- Documented cases by a state or local public social services agency - including social workers and/or suervisors - which have been covered in the media,
- Documented cases by a state or local public social services agency - including social workers and/or suervisors - which have not been covered in the media,
- Documented cases by a state or local private social services agency - including social workers and/or supervisors - which have been covered in the media,
- Documented cases by a state or local private social service agency - including social workers and/or supervisors - which have not beencovered in the media,
- Documented cases by a state or local court which have been covered in the media, and
- Documented cases by a state or local court which have not been covered in the media.
Anyone with relevant information may contact me at:
Thank you. - 29 December 2003 - Orlando, Florida

... though I'd love to meet/see my natural parents, I'm just too tired to try. There's so much red tape and bullshit involved - it gets discouraging. Seems impossible. How many postings can one person put. And being born in 1970 doesn't help eithern cause it seems EVERYONE was adopted in 70. I WOULD love to know my medical make-up - or perhaps where I got my hands or eyes from. I resemble no one. Is my musical talent Nature or Nurture? Things like that. But these questions may go the grave with me. And perhaps - at that time - all WILL be answered. Or so I like to hope. - 23 December 2003 - Philadelphia, PA

dana | @
I have no adoption experience either way. I just stumbled unto this site by accident but was captivated for two hours reading everything, including the guestbook. I never knew anything like happened, the word definitely needs to get out about forced adoptions, this makes me sick to my stomach. I had my daughter young, I couldn't imagine not having her in my life. How can we get the public's attention? - 21 December 2003 - JAPAN

lynn cicle | @
has anyone sent information to heather and aron regarding what is happening in Oklahoma regarding child trafficking? if not Please contact I want to help her and may have some lawyers that can help as well! Alot of us are working together in Oklahoma and Kansas and have a lot of imformation that could be helpful - 14 December 2003 - usa

Lisa Quan | @
I was 20 years old when I got pregnant. This was planned and wanted pregnancy. I wanted a child to take care of so bad. I loved children. I still do but with hesitation now. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't have tears for my daughter. The father abused me sexually, physically and emotionally. I got a restraining order on him for 3 years. Throughout my pregnancy I would just think: if I kept this baby he would be in my life forever. Well, if I knew what it was like giving up my baby I would have dealt with this asshole in my life. Most likely he would not visit us, but who knows. Who knows the future anyway? All I know is that I would not wish this pain on anyone. I would never change my mind of adoption because it is too late. I already gave my baby to a loving home (Nov. 13th, 2003). I would never wish this pain on anyone though, not even people I didn't know. Love thy neighbor as thyself. But if you are a birthmother and haven't given up your baby yet, don't! It is torture. Tears of rage forever, Lisa. contact me at - 01 December 2003 - Bakersfield, California

Pat Roberts
It is a please to see this site. I was forced to surrender
by baby in 1968. I had a beautiful reunion with my daughter in 1989,this week is fifteen years since I made contact (1988 Thanksgiving),unfortunately we are not in contact for the last fourteen years. I was in the first march in Wasington DC to open records, which took place on her 21st birthday.
It has boggled my mind that the rest of the world thinks adoption is wonderful. I have never considered myself a birthmother. I am a MOTHER who was forced to leave her baby
and I would forget. I have not forgotten. My daughter is always in my thoughts. - 24 November 2003 - New York

Heather Stonerock and Ryan Antinori | @
To all who care,
My boyfriend and I were considering adoption for our baby. I was due on November the 20,2003. We contacted this attorney on November 3rd to find out about our options. We met with an attorney from there firm on the 4th. They gave us a list if six prospective adoptive parents on the 5th. We choose one that day(Kathleen and Matthew Slater of Jupiter Florida). The attorneys were going to set it up so we could meet them. However I went into labor on the 6th,fourteen days early. The first time we met or even spoke to the adoptive parents was in the delivery room. We did sign the papers but the attorneys did not wait the full 48 hours or until I was discharged from the hospital as it states in the Florida Statue. We changed our minds about two hours after we signed the papers. The attorney was extemely mean and hateful to us and the hospital staff. She managed to get a courtordered discharge from a criminal judge(not a family law judge) in the 15th judical court to let my baby go home with prospective adoptive parents who havent even had there case study done yet. We are now in a lawsuit with some very rich people. I am only twenty years old and the father is only eightteen years old. We really want are son back, This attorney as a reputation for being mean and ruthless. Please please help!
Heather Stonerock & Ryan Antinori - 21 November 2003 - Tampa Florida

Kelli Jones | @
I am presently continuing my search for my birth niece. She was born in Richmond VA @ St. Mary's Hospital on 4.18.79, birthname of Tabitha Jones. I have signed up on many registries, and have even found a match that I emailed but got no response back. So this is another posting on another registry/guestbook in hopes that someone will see it, and want to respond. I have been searching for over a 1 year, which I know isn't nearly as long as some people have searched for a loved one. If anyone has any input to help me on this road, of which I know very little, please give me your two cents! Thanks so much for your time, and good luck to all the searchers out there! - 21 November 2003 - Virginia

Webmistress comments: -  Kelli: You might try going to Click on "Search Support Sites" (on the left margin), then on the page it brings you to, scroll down and click on the state you're searching in. A number of groups are listed there that may be able to help. All the best.

This site has been truly inspirational. I am a 38 year old single Mom of three, who has found herself with child. My other 3 children are all of the same father. A great father but a terrible cheating husband. My dilema.. The babies father is abusive, drug user, whom i can't even look at let alone find my self having to be involved with this man because whe have a child in common. Why did I let myself get that far is beyond me. And too very late for shoulda, coulda or woulda. After reading the letters, it has become more evident to me that I must keep this child, even if it means that... Whew, a long rough ride lies ahead. The thought of having a child out there who might not get the 'wonderful adoptive parents' is very frightening, then I truly would hate my self more than I am now. The saddest, thing is not having not one person to whom I can have help me through this but my self. Letters from ladies whom have gone thru this trial and tribulations would be greatly appreciated. Blessings ladies!!! - 17 November 2003 - Las Vegas, NV

Webmistress comments: -  Cheryle: More than anything or anyone in the world, your baby needs YOU. We were deceived by "experts" and "authorities" into believing that we could not provide for our baby's needs and were completely replaceable. We found out years later that this was an astounding lie. Don't beat yourself up now over the course of circumstances -- have mercy on yourself and take good care of your health as you prepare for and nurture this precious child who needs YOU. S/he has one mother. You are your baby's world - not only before birth but after.

Mary | @
The old story of 'your child was stillborn' is a very crafty way for an immoral physician to keep a baby, and make money doing the black market adoption. On November 25, 1970, I was only 16 and gave birth to my 8 lb. 14 oz son. He was born at Lutheran Medical Center (now Exempla Lutheran) in Wheatridge Colorado. The obstetrician was M.W. Pfenninger. I never believed my son was born dead. I always suspected my parents and the physician of having a common goal of adopting my child without my knowledge, for 'my own good'. Just this last year, I found, on 'Colorado Regulatory Agencies' a way to find disciplinary actions against physicians. I found this Mark Pfenninger had been charged with several patient violations....and the AMA and the Colorado Attorney Generals office was going to pull his license for substandard care of his female patients with over a dozen verified and substantiated complaints. I searched for my son for 15 years, but to no avail. It is as if he dropped off the face of the earth. The pain of losing a child is a neverending one. Anyone that was told a similar story or wants to know more, write me Be Well. - 15 November 2003 - Kansas

New Book For Mothers Of Adoption Loss | url
'ADOPTION HEALING is a testament to the terrible and long-lasting injustice that was done to so many women in our recent past, when 'authorities' snatched their babies and told these mothers that they would forget. Buterbaugh and Soll have crafted a deeply caring book that reaches out to mothers who will never forget.' - Rickie Solinger, author of Wake Up Little Susie: Single Pregnancy and Race before Roe v. Wade, and Beggars and Choosers: How the Politics of Choice Shapes Adoption, Abortion, and Welfare in the U.S ~~
'ADOPTION HEALING needs to carry a warning: 'Beware! Read at your own risk. Long-buried feelings are bound to surface. Not advisable to read without support.' ADOPTION HEALING is not for the fainthearted. Some will say it's radical, and it is. But it is the very radicalness that leads you to your own truth--to the place of healing.' - Carol Schaefer, author of The Other Mother and Mary Queen of Scots; playwright of The Sacred Virgin ~~
'This 'must read' leads sleep-walking mothers through painful quagmires of suppressed memories into fully-lived lives. It validates their trauma, loss and grief. Therapists can help them understand the depth of their dysfunction post-adoption. Loss of a child to adoption is horrific; readers learn that adoption isn't a viable ‘solution’ to an unplanned pregnancy. A mother can learn to deal with her pain and reclaim her motherhood... this book teaches how she can be safely led home to herself.' - Joss Shawyer, author of Death By Adoption ~~
“As an adoption reform activist, I found ADOPTION HEALING to be the most straightforward and honest book I have ever read. The authors presentation of the material explains the myths and facts of the exiled mother’s experience in a most clear and concise manner. ADOPTION HEALING is one of those very special books that is difficult to put down!” - Sandy Musser, Adoption Activist and Author of I Would Have Searched Forever and To Prison With Love~~
To order ADOPTION HEALING, click on the link below (for mothers): - 15 November 2003

Sonja | @
I'd like to offer my support to Mothers who have posted messages to this guestbook. Somewhere on this site I saw a thought that really hit me hard: when there is one option there is no choice. How true that is. I'm a bereaved Mother, but I lost my daughter to cancer when she was three. Knowing the pain of the loss of a child, I could not imagine losing a child yet knowing he or she is out there somewhere, and all the anguish that must cause. You are all so strong; such amazing women! If I could leave you with a thought (it might help a teensy, tiny bit), it would be this. You are all beautiful Bonsai trees. To make a Bonsai tree you must abuse and manipulate and torment a young vulnerable sapling. For the sapling to become the Bonsai tree it must be strong and persevere the abuse and the torture. In surviving it has become an exquisite specimen, a testament to the innate strength of the sapling. Each Bonsai tree is unique, spectacular, and immensely more valuable than the sapling was before its ordeal. This guest book is truly a Bonsai garden! God bless each of you! - 13 November 2003 - Ottawa Canada

David Jenkins & Amanda Turner-Edwards | @
We are currently involved in a custody case regarding social services in our area over them currently having custody of our two young babies (2yr,1yr old)and are currently planning on adopting our babies without our consent.We feel that through this high profile case as it stands at the moment local authority's have bullied us and also lied throughout this case in making un-proven allegations against us both.If there is anyone who can be of any help for us and our family that is at risk then please contact me at my email address. - 13 November 2003 - South Wales (Uninted Kingdom)

Erika | @
In 2001, I was evicted from my home and than sexually assaulted. I temporarily placed my 2 daughters and when I tried to have them back, was forced to sign my 16 month old up for adoption. They accused me of being unfit and seperated the children. I got my older daughter back 2 months after signing the adoption papers. I never was informed of my rights. I've been trying for the past 2 years to find a lawyer who can help reinstate my rights.
If you know of anyone who can help it would be greatly appreciated. My younger daughter just turned 4 and i havetn seen her in 2 yrs. Please help me reunite my family. my daughter and i miss her. - 12 November 2003 - Toronto,ON

Katie | @
Adoption has literally broke my heart time and time again. Since the day I came home from Edna Gladney (aka The Gladney Center) in Fort Worth, adoptive parents began telling me I was adopted. I've never really felt any sort of true bond with them. (I know that sounds horrible, but it's true.) Other than they were all I had, and the only way I'd survive was to accept them as my parents. I'm now 26 yrs. old & married. In a lot of ways...I still feel like a child. I still want my birthmother & with each year that goes by my desire to be reunited with her (or any of my birthfamily) only grows stronger. My birthmother's father (my grandfather) is/was of Cherokee descent & I feel as if I'm being robbed of my heritage. All I really want is to find her. If she wishes to keep me a part of her past, I understand, but I need closure. This is part of my life from the time I wake up until the moment I fall asleep each night. I'm under the impression that it was illegal for Edna Gladney to even accept me for placement. Since I am Native American. Even though I'm only a little bit. For the sake of my heart, soul, & sanity...I hope I find someone soon.
Good luck to everyone searching! - 09 November 2003 - Katy, Texas

Katie | @
Adoption has literally broke my heart time and time again. Since the day I came home from Edna Gladney (aka The Gladney Center) in Fort Worth, adoptive parents began telling me I was adopted. I've never really felt any sort of true bond with them. (I know that sounds horrible, but it's true.) Other than they were all I had, and the only way I'd survive was to accept them as my parents. I'm now 26 yrs. old & married. In a lot of ways...I still feel like a child. I still want my birthmother & with each year that goes by my desire to be reunited with her (or any of my birthfamily) only grows stronger. My birthmother's father (my grandfather) is/was of Cherokee descent & I feel as if I'm being robbed of my heritage. All I really want is to find her. If she wishes to keep me a part of her past, I understand, but I need closure. This is part of my life from the time I wake up until the moment I fall asleep each night. I'm under the impression that it was illegal for Edna Gladney to even accept me for placement. Since I am Native American. Even though I'm only a little bit. For the sake of my heart, soul, & sanity...I hope I find someone soon.
Good luck to everyone searching! - 09 November 2003 - Katy, Texas

Nikki Neuman | @
I am very happy about this website; mostly because I am an adopted child myslef. People often look at adopted children
as if we should be thankful or blessed that a family took us in. I know upfront; throughout my life, I have watched as children go from home to home. I am adopted, but I know nothing about my past. It is hard doing assignments such as family trees, or having people constantly ask 'Is she yours?' to my adopted mom. It hurts inside not knowing the truth about my family, or who my parents are. If more poeple understand how adopted children are affected, then more doors can be open to make sure poeple like me know who they are. - 05 November 2003 - Monmouth County

donya | @
i just posted a message looking for assistance on how to recant my signing of parental rights in order to get my son back before the adoption is finalized, but i forgot to give my email address. If ANYONE has any information on ways to get around this awful Florida law please write me at Thank you. - 01 November 2003 - Orlando, FL

donya | @
i just put my newborn son up for adoption last week and i now realize that i made a terrible mistake. i was unemployed, but am now working at home (so i could be with him if i could only get him back!) the problem is i live in FL where once i sign off my parental rights, it's over. But the adoption will not be finalized for 90 days. Does ANYBODY know of anything i can do? thye agency promised me the world and as they did help me it was nothing like i expected, but i had already signed papers with them and they threatened me with jail if i changed my mind and didn't pay them back assistance money within 3 days. PLEASE - i can use any advice - i need my son back with me! thank you - 01 November 2003 - Florida, Orlando

Sherrie Lindley | @
I was lied to by the adoption agency that my beautiful little girl was adopted through. It was supposed to be a semi-open adoption. About 5 years ago the adoptive family stopped writing and because the adoption agency is no longer in the state of Oklahoma they cannot help me. - 29 October 2003

Destiny Hooks | @
I have felt for many years that I was adopted by my birth father and his wife, but never felt like I could prove it. I could remember overhearing this one lady say that I was her child, but as a young girl I felt that I could dismiss that conversation, Until I started to feel connected to her and her family. Her sister spent alot of time trying to be there for me including High School Graduation, College Visits, and I felt that was strange. In 1998, I had a chance to visit this lady who I felt was my birth mother and the connection was there, she talked and held my hand the whole time never letting go she starred in my eys and she kept asking me about my life. A few months ago I found a Letter that was written to the mother that raised me and it was thanking her for the picture of me and the letter. I was stunned because it seems to be real. I feel extremly connected to this lady and I long for a mother -daughter relationship, but I don't know if this feeling is real. I really feel that it is, but no one in my family seem to be talking about it. I felt that the truth would come out but I have no one to discuss this with at all, I'm afraid that they won't understand my feelings. Who could I talk to about this feeling and should I pursue a mother-daughter relationship with this lady. - 28 October 2003 - Northeast USA

Webmistress comments: -  Dear Destiny: You deserve to know the truth about who you are and who your mother is, and to pursue a relationship with her; but first-off, it's important to find a safe place to talk about your feelings and concerns, and to receive support and guidance. You might look into finding a reunion search and support group close to you. If you know of none off-hand you may start by going to: and clicking on Search Support Sites on the left margin. Once at the page, scroll down and click on your state. There are 476 groups listed nation-wide. In these groups are those of us who are painfully familiar with the issues inherent in being separated from our parents and/or children - places to find validation, support, and helpful suggestions on how to proceed. I wish you well.

Ginger | @ | url
ISO my half sisters born in Tacoma Washington in the 60's. Our birth father is Cutine L. Taylor. He is living in Seattle Washington or surrounding area. Cutine should be getting close to 60 years old now.
Mrs. Taylor, our birth grandmother is living in Tacoma Washington.
Please view my web page listed in the message. Thank you. - 25 October 2003 - Oklahoma

Becky Sherrin (Rebecca Atkeisson Sherrin) | @
I am looking for my birthmother. I was born July 9, 1969 in Corsicana, Tx., at Navarro Memorial Hospital. - 21 October 2003 - USA

Webmistress comments: -  Becky: For search and support help in your state, try this. Go to and click on "Search Support Sites" (on the left margin), then on the page it brings you to, scroll down and click on Texas. A number of groups are listed there that may be able to help you in your search. All the best.

Becky Sherrin (Rebecca Atkeisson Sherrin) | @
I am looking for my birthmother. I was born July 9, 1969, in Corsicana, Texas, at Navarro Memorial Hospital. - 21 October 2003 - USA

james good | @ | url
I was placed for adoption and I am so glad that I found my birth mother it has been a long road there are questions that I think it could have been a fraud adoption. I am so glad that I recieved help from the women there helped me find my birthmother - 20 October 2003 - cal

amy | @
just want people to know that not all birthmothers had their children stolen from them. some gave them up very willingly although they still love their child. I ws raped at 17 and gave my child life instead of abortion. he lives with two stable loving parents who do not look at him any different.Iwas afraid that I would always look at him and see my rapist. there are stories of good adoptions. - 17 October 2003 - usa

Webmistress comments: -  Amy,

Thanks for your submission to the guestbook. I don't know whether the website authors will retain it but they did ask me to write a message for you.

Your situation is an unfortunate and very difficult one. I lost my son for similar reasons. I was very truamatized from the rape and I was just plain afraid of what to tell people and of what to tell him so that he would still think well of himself. I was worried that my feelings about his father might impact my feelings for him. I had mixed feelings, but under it all, I loved him very much. I wanted the best for him. I never thought about the day he would come looking for me and I would have to figure out what to tell him anyway. But, that day is approaching. After much soul-searching I have figured out what to tell him. And I figured out what I should have told people had I kept him and they asked questions.

I will tell him the truth - that his father hurt me very much and that I don't know if it is something he did just once and then learned from it or not. I will tell him I consider him the best thing that ever happened to me and I'm so happy he was born. I will tell him I did the best I knew how at the time. I will even encourage him to look his father up - because it is his father and I know it may provide him with some needed healing.

If I had kept him, and people I didn't know well had asked about his father I think I would just look at them and say confidently: "I am his father AND his mother." If they asked again, I would just repeat it. And if they asked again, I'd change the subject by saying something like "Do you think my butt looks fat in these shorts?" I would not get angry - these people most likely aren't really trying to pry, they just aren't thinking.

Would it have been difficult? Yes.

Would it have gotten better over time and been worth it? Yes. I say yes because after 15 years I no longer have nightmares about the rape. But I have always missed my son terribly. I wonder all the time about what it would have been like to take him to the park and play catch. To see him running around with his many cousins. Especially what it would have been like to hear him laugh. I miss that so much. I never will get to see him as a little boy, never get to hug him and make his boo-boos better, never get to see him in a high school play or on the soccer team.

In addition one day one of my friends who is an adult adoptee told me with incredible hurt in his eyes: "My mother didn't want me." He told me how he searches for her every night on the internet. I was shocked. No one told me my child might feel this way. This friend of mine grew up in a wonderful family and he probably never told his adoptive parents how he felt. He wouldn't have told me, either, if he had known my story!

I think if more women had the support of knowing that many mothers keep a child conceived in rape and love them very much that these mothers would not have to suffer from losing their child.

I was able to provide such information to one mother and grandmother who were considering relinquishment. Once they thought about it for a while, the mother, with the full support of the grandmother, was able keep her son. The grandmother reported that the mother "laughed and cried and stopped feeling so sick from her pregnancy". They reported back several months after the baby was born and were still very happy about keeping him although of course they still had to deal with people's questions. Instead of having strangers for his mother and father, their child has his real mother and a whole family to love him.

I know my story is not your story.

But people should know that there are more alternatives than abortion and adoption, even in the case of rape. If people were provided a lot more information, they could make a truly informed decision.

If you want to, you can write to me at

Laurie Frisch

Becky Sherrin | @
I am looking for my birthmother. I was born July 9, 1969 in Corsicana, Texas at Navarro Memorial Hospital. I was born at 4:10 pm. I was told that my birthmother was 16 years old and my birthfather was in the navy? It was a private adoption by lawyer Johnny Chirafis of Corsicana, the adoption papers were signed by Judge Sewell of Navarro County. My adoptive parents are Joe and Janice Atkeisson of Corsicana. Please respond if you have any information. - 15 October 2003 - CORSICANA, TEXAS - NAVARRO COUNTY

grecia | @
i am 15yrs old and i am doing a school essay for speech class and we had to choose our own topic and i picked adoption and the reasons not to give your children up for adoption. and let me tell you if there was anyone in that school who would ever give their child up for adoption i think i might have changed their minds and i know i wont give my child up for adoption if i ever have one. - 14 October 2003 - pasadena, tx , usa

Webmistress comments: -  Use of the term "give up" implies free will or choice. This does not accurately describe what actually occurs when a mother loses her newborn to adoption. The coercive forces involved and manipulative tactics used, and the utterly deceptive misinformation given to unsupported mothers - by parents, clergy, social workers, doctors, lawyers - precludes a free or informed "decision". Only powerful external forces can bring about the tragic separation of a mother from her newborn. If society would realize and acknowledge this truth, things would have to change (in a society with any conscience, that is). There are powerful forces in government and the private sector (including those who have adopted or are waiting to adopt, and the agencies they're involved with) who do not want this to change. Until it does, a percentage of vulnerable mothers and their babies will continue to suffer. I applaud you for looking into this subject and speaking out on it. All the best to you on your pursuit of the truth and getting it out there... your words can make a difference and keep a family together!

Laurie Dunfield-Baker | @ | url
I am an adoptee reunited with my family, thank God. We lost each other when I was 13 months old. I never knew how much pain they felt until we were reunited. I'm so glad we're back together.
I'm currently appealing the CA Superior Court's decision to NOT give me my original birth certificate, even though my family is intact once more.
I have a petition up and am asking for signatures to support my efforts. The URL is below, or you can access it from my website, Unseal Records. tml - 13 October 2003 - Sacramento, CA

wendy | @
I was a 15 year old battered wife of three beautiful children. I was the bread winner of the family and worked all the time. My perental rights were terminated because of my ex husband that Physically, mentally, and sexually abused my children. The courts said I allowed everything to happen because I left them home with him when I worked and did not have any idea of what was going on. My 4 yr old was burnt while in his care and thats when my night mare began. I tryed to explain he was abusive and I was scared to death of him. He would threated to kill my whole family if I ever left. Needless to say I had no contack with my family for 10 years. The court did not believe I was abused by him even after my 10 year old got on the stand and told them differen. In Aug of 2002 he was shot and killed by Amarillo Police for trying to drive off in a cop car and he grabed there gun in the car and aimed to shoot the police but was shot first. Just a nother reason to prove he was what I said but they would not believe me and I allowed everything to happen. Now hes dead and got the easy way out and here im lost without my 3 children. Go figure the children were given to the perpertraters mother they live in Alaska and I in Michigan. I did call for my daughtors 14th birthday to find out she was and has been in a hosptil in Utah. She will return back to her alaska home with her Grandma in the spring. I was told she could start calling me then but only time will tell. One of my children were too old We will all reunite someday!!!! The system is so unfair. There is reunited the family that they say they work so hard to do its BULL!!!! Good luck to every one Ive walked in your foot prints and I know the pain of loss of a child or children!! - 09 October 2003 - Michigan

david jenkins/miss amanda turner-edwards | @
we have jus read few of your stories on this web site and would like to say tha as parents still within the court system fighting for our two babies.if you can be of any help to myself and girlfriend then pls can u contact me at - 07 October 2003 - south wales uk

JAMES GOOD | @ | url
I would like to tell you about a women that helped me find my natural mother, I had been searching for her for 17 years until I ws referred to a women named Jennifer, She helped me find my mother in less the a day..Her website and her number 253-529-8383 I hope this helps you, let me know..
James - 05 October 2003

Michelle | @
I am an adoptee (who has traced my natural mother) working for a TV production company in UK. We are doing a documentary on birth/natural mothers and would like to hear from any birth mother who has recently traced their son/daughter. If you live in the UK and would like to take part you can ring the office on: 0208 8775625 - 29 September 2003 - London, UK

Deborah Prince | @
I am searching for my birthfamily. I was born March 28,1968
in Biddeford, Maine through St. Andre's Home(Catholic Charities). I am disgusted that I had to pay $75 to find out that my great-grandfather was a diabetic! This information was never disclosed to my adopters. The written non-id does not match the verbal non-id given to the adopters when I was sold to them. My relationship with my adopters was strained to say the least.They began to resent me once I got older and it became very evident that they had not adopted their own biological substitute baby; they purchased someone else's child! I did not resemble either one of them emotionally, cognitively, physically,and certainly not medically! Any natural mother who stayed at
St. Andre's Home, I would like to hear of your experience there. Who knows, maybe you knew my mom? She has been described to me as a tall red/reddish blonde woman in her thirties who played piano. My father has been described as Indian (from India). Although who knows, this could be a lie as well. - 23 September 2003 - Austin,Texas

jennifer | @
I placed my little girl with my aunt and uncle. They could not have a child, I thought and was told that i could see her when ever I wanted. Well they have broke there promise to me and to the birthfathers family and to my mother side of the family. They have become very protective of her. I was told Josie would know from the start that I was her real mother and my now husband was her father. Well they are hateful, they used to eat at a certain restant in town until my husband stared to work there, they no longer eat there. If i do get to see her I am watched like a hawk. If she coos or even does a slight movement they jerk her out of my arms. At our wedding they did not want my husbands mother to spend time with her at all and said that was not her grandmother and never will be. They said that in front of my mothers family ( Aunt and uncle are on father side of family) MY mother told them how ungrateful they were and said that i will always be her mother and theres nothing they can do. MY fathers side of the family supported the decision to place her with my and and uncle. that It was gods way and that they would always be grateful i that i was doing such a wonderful thing. Well NO one from my father side offered support after the fact. If i could do it all over i would keep her. MY husband and I are have a 2 child due in 3 weeks we can't wait. I have not told anyone on my fathers side. i bare tons of anger toward those people. thanks for letting let this out. - 15 September 2003 - ga


Grandmother Jackie | @ | url
I am searching for my granddaughter who was adopted at birth without our knowledge or consent. The pregnancy and birth of my granddaughter was kept a secret and lied about for eight years. The birth mother was 16 and my son was 17 years old. We did not receive any legal notice informing us of the biological mother's or her parent's intent to place the baby for adoption. Even though, the birth mother and her family knew our home telephone number and how to get in touch with us. We found out about my granddaughter and the adoption when she was 8 years old. Since that time we have been searching for her.
My children and grandchildren are my love and my life. Family is everything to me. However, we are missing one lovely little treasure! There is a need to know about my granddaughter, to find the missing piece of our family that tugs at my heart daily, to let her know that we truly love her; and, UNDER NO! Circumstances my granddaughter would have been given up for adoption; she would have been raised by paternal biological family. I am angry at those who felt separating my granddaughter from paternal biological family was an acceptable solution. I am angry at the injustice committed against my family; and, the years we missed.

OUR MISSION: To claim our child; something the birth mother and her family did not give us the opportunity to do.
'In all of us there is a hunger, marrow deep, to know our heritage, to know who we are, and where we have come from. Without this enriching knowledge, there is a hollow yearning, no matter what our attainments in life; there is a most disquieting loneliness.'
.....Alex Haley - 10 September 2003 - Oklahoma USA

Webmistress comments: -  Hello: I am sorry about the loss of your beloved granddaughter to adoption. No doubt, this has caused great sorrow for you and your son. No doubt, this has also caused immeasurable suffering and grief for the child's mother as well. We need more loving grandmothers in our society who are willing to step in and support their sons and their daughters, while expecting, otherwise someone else will step in. Tragically, in too many cases, someone has stepped in to impose their own will and agenda upon the unmarried mother at a vulnerable time. It is unlikely that your granddaughter's mother, at age 16, came up with this idea on her own. Adoption is always a collusion between family (parents), church, social or adoption agency, and state. If your son was not served notice of the pending adoption, his paternal rights were violated - one of many of the gross violations and injustices which have been allowed in adoption practice for decades. I wish you all the best in finding your granddaughter. I would like to leave you with this quote: "The giver is called the birth mother or biological mother or natural mother. These terms cloud the fact that a mother who 'gave up' her child was authoritatively deceived at a vulnerable moment by her entire support system and the professionals who were supposed to serve her." - Dr. William Troxler, Capital College, 2000.

Laura | @
I was 21 in 1982 when my hand was forced to sign those awful papres, depriving me of my daughter, and my daughter of the one person who truly 'knew' her, loved, her, and wanted her. My boyfriend at the time put tremendous pressure on me, going as far as to threaten my life! The agency i went through provided me with a 'counselor', but about all she did was push 'adoption, adoption, adoption' on me, using subtle and not-so-subtle language to coerce me to sign her away for their infertile clients, who evidently felt they were entitled to raise somebody else's baby. I have missed her every day, cried for her, longed to see her and hold her. She is 21 now, and I located her a couple of months ago, but our 'reunion' is not progressing very well. I think her adopters are disappointed that I am a loving, intelligent, interesting person, not the crack whore they were probably hoping she's encounter. I continue to pray that she and I can reconnect someday, and that she will come to realize how much I love her. - 07 September 2003 - Ohio

S. Cameron | @
Hello. I am wondering if anyone is searching for a son given up soon after birth. His name at birth was RODERICK WAYNE AHO born Dec. 25/1968 at Sarnia; General Hospital. I think his mother might be originally from Hawaii descent; possibly. I was told his mother was young (possibly 17) and the decision was made for adoption. My adopted brother has held no hard feelings for his birthfamily as he was always told the truth thru our parents right from a young age. If his birthfamily wishes info please contact us. Every Christmas must be hard to deal with -- mothers can never forget-- no matter how young. - 07 September 2003 - Sarnia; Ontario; Canada

Marjorie Gomez | @ | url
I to am amother who has given up her chiled I gave two up . In the early 60ties . And i can feel the pain that all have gone through . All tho My daughter found me after 32 years . and we love each other dearly . I still feel cheated and left out . She is beautifull and sweet . and how much we are alike . I also have a Son out there some where I have never seen . and just like all I was told all these things and gave my babies away because I didn't feel I could do a good job of raising them . Because every one told me so . Yes yes i know your pain and to day I'm scared as heck about meeting my son. Even tho I want to somehow I feel i will be unworthy . i have closed my mind and hidden my secret and some i told but others i would not . Whats the use they really don't care except to put a opinion in of there own . Any way I found this through Adoptiees . Group . Hope I can be a part of this . and put my two cents in . I have never been abel to do that . Thanks . Love all of us Moms real Moms . Cause we are you know . But why do I feel that I'm not most the time . - 06 September 2003 - Oregon

Kate Absher | @
I was promised open adoption. None of the promises kept. Adopters seperated when my child was 6 months old. Divorced at one year.
Now last week I discover, that in the divorce complaint it states that the adopter father was a prescription drug abuser and under the care of a psychiatrist for a number of years.
They lied to the homestudy, they lied to me, and no lawyer will take my case unless I come up with 15-20 thousand dollars and I don't have that. No money, no justice.
I feel as if my guts are bieng ripped out. If anyone knows someone who has money and a heart for justice. contact me at
Thank you! This could be a landmark case that will expose the industry, the lengths adopters go to and finally let them know we aren't all dumb 'birth'mothers who can't fight back when WE have a 'WRONGFUL ADOPTION'. - 06 September 2003 - Alabama

Karen L | @
My heart breaks as I read these stories. I hope those so brutally effected by adoption finally find some the meantime I am glad for this site! - 01 September 2003 - St. Louis

EMMA | @
I am writing a fictional book and this involves a character who is struggling to come to terms with having her baby taken away from her for adoption. She was forced to do so by her parents and 15 years later is finding it hard to cope with every day life. I obviously need to treat this issue with sensitivity and care and also need to understand the legal inplications. I would be grateful if anyone has information for me on the proccesses employed legally or illegally in the UK.
I would also wish all of you on reading your stories a peace of mind and a true love that you deserve.
Good Luck to anyone still searching! - 25 August 2003 - British, now living in Spain.

Diane | @
There used to be an article here called 'Why won't my mother meet me. Can no longer locate it. Would you see if you can add it back as it is an excellent artice. I would often refer adoptees here to read it. - 14 August 2003 - Massa chusetts

Webmistress comments: -  It is still here. In the left hand column, click on: The Truth About Adoption, and scroll down to article #26.

juliette j hingle, born baby wilson | @
hello, I was born june 19th 1971, at broward county general in ft.lauderdale fl. I have searching for my real mother for years and I am starting to loose hope, I have realised that there are many others like me with a big hole in their hearts, on both sides, I just want to know my mothers and fathers and brothers, I just want to say I love you and I always have, I can understand why, but I have a hard time the silence of my adoption parents, all is just a lie, nothing is valid in what I am supposed to know, I think that your site is wonderfull and feel better in reding some of the stories, much love to the birthmoms, as well as other adoptees, someday this money machine will stop, and the truth will come out, love julia - 07 August 2003 - france

Mark Sephton
Sue Sephton/ Holt,
Please get in touch with the West Midlands Post Adoption Service, Digbeth, Birmingham, UK, Regarding Mark, 27th May 1976, Coventry. - 02 August 2003 - Coventry UK

leigh t | @
as a reunited adoptee I abhor the lies I had to sift through to obtain what my neighbour can obtain with a $15 check to NYC. My first mother placed me in foster care while attempting to find a home for us. She was not allowed to see me; Catholic Charities was aware of her intention not to relinquish and was keeping notes on how I was abandoned. She signed the papers when I was 2.5 mos old when her last oppurtunity for a home for us fell thru-she was not offered any assistance or guidance by CC. Years later- I was told by CC that my mother 'intentionally got pregnant to prove that she could bear a child but did not intend to keep it'- the opening line on my non-ident. My first mother had one picture she demanded from CC while I was in foster care and made 100 copies of it-one stood in a group of pics with my sibs when I found her after 23 years. My records have now been destroyed by a fire (as have tens of thousand of others of adoptees' over 3 decades) and cannot obtain anything else. Who has the right to keep a secret file on me-or you- and have it so loosely protected from an arsonist (could it be an adoptive parent?) but paddlocked from me? - 29 July 2003 - NY

reading this is all very overwhelming. I surrendered my son almost two years ago to what has so far remained an open private adoption. the adoptive parents have remained in contact and kind to me. the same common history led up to my decision, abandonment by the father and by my familly, coercsion, the idea that it would be selfish and wrong for me to keep him, that i wasn't good enough, that I couldn't support him. I never went to a home, but I know that they still exist. I two was told that 'adoption is a gift of love' and I too know that is one of the biggest lies that I was ever told. It's been two years and this is the first time I've heard the stories of other birth mothers. It is amazing to me that the same love plat form is still used. and its amazing to me that the same patterns still persist. - 27 July 2003 - North Carolina

Heather Carlini CMH | @ | url
Hi Everyone. I am doing some research into the imprints from adoption for both biological mothers and adoptees. If anyone would like to participate in my research please contact me and I will send you a questionnaire.
Also I am looking for any biological moms who experienced the use of 'Twilight Sleep' (anesthetic) during childbirth years ago. I am researching the long-term effects of this drug as it applies to imprints.
If anyone would like to participate in my research please contact me at
For those that don't know me, I am a reunited natural mother and a certified medical hypnotherapist working in regressive therapy.
Thanks, Heather Carlini - 12 July 2003 - Canada

Michael Land | @
My sister and I were both adopted by the same lady in GA. I was born in 1958 and her in 1959. My adopted mother never liked us knowing anything too much about our birth mother. Supposably we have the same one but different fathers. All I have is a first and last maiden name, and maybe a general location of where she lived when we were adopted. I'm not really computer smart so ANY directions I could be pushed in would help. - 09 July 2003

deborah hooker | @
As one who is always interested in how language is altered to alter perceptions (or try to), I wanted to thank Diane for writing her wonderful article. I learned much from it. Also, if anyone knows how I can get in touch with Tricia Shore, who has written for this site, I'd appreciate the lead. She's written other pieces that I wanted to tell her that I enjoyed. Thanks-- - 02 July 2003 - Raleigh, NC

Heather Carlini CMH | @ | url
Hello everyone. This summer I am compiling a book on reunion problems and part of the book has a question and answer format. I am asking natural mothers and adoptees who have experienced reunion problems to submit any questions they would like addressed in the book. In this book I am taking a new approach by looking at the imprints left from the experience of adoption loss and how we can change them. Please send any input to me at
Heather Carlini/ Canada - 28 June 2003 - Canada

Kathleen Stokes | @
I have recived papers from Indiana Department of family
and childern on my son that was adopted out.Born in Indiana
08-20-1963 at Good Samartian Hospital,Vincennes Indiana.
Alot of papers i know nothing about can anyone help me?
Tells me i can petition the probate court for adoption records.Does anyone have any information on how to go about this? My name at time of birth was Kathleen Bowman,i was only 14 at the time was tricked into giving son up, did not understand what i was signing at the time.Thank You Kay - 20 June 2003 - usa

Melva | @
For all of the adoprees out there. Do NOT GIVE UP HOPE. My Dad was born in 1925 and adopted when he was 6 days old. He was aware of this but all of his life he wanted to find his B family. In July 2002 he spoke with his only living B sister. In October 2002 Aunt Betty, her daughter, her son his wife, and 2 of Dads nieces came to Alberta to meet Dad. Aunt Betty did not know that Dad even existed. Dad always thought that he was the youngest. It turns out that he was the oldest and then Aunt Betty. Dads B parents never said anything about him to Aunt Betty or Dads brother and other sister (both gone now). Dads brother Alexander passed away a year before Dad found Aunt Betty. That is his biggest regret, that he never got to meet his brother. Dad was raised as an omly child by a good family but he always said that it was lonley and that he knew that he had a brother and other famly out there somewhere. He was born Bruce Hodgins in Calgary Alberta but his B parents and family were all from Lucan Ontario. After he was born they returned to Lucan where they passed away in the 80's. They never mentioned him to anyone and we can find no connection to his A parents although we all feel that there is one. Dad would like so much to go to Lucan, unfortunatly his health will probably prevent that. From an only child to a family of many. God is good. Have hope and keep the faith. - 19 June 2003 - Red Deer Alberta

Sally Howard | @

My new book is out titled, Finding Me In a Paper Bag: Searching for Both Sides Now. Knowing each person sees events in life through their own eyes, my story is just that, ‘my’ story. It is what it was like for me, being an adoptee: one having no birthday, no nationality, and no paper trail to start a search, living my life as a foundling. It will show what ‘Safe Haven” babies will face being alive but unknown. It will also show the emotional aftermath of giving away an only daughter to strangers, a tightly held secret for over thirty-five years.
While my story is about adoption and relinquishment, it is also for anyone carrying the heavy load of a secret. I hope the research I did and the recording of my honest feelings will help other to not be afraid to face their fears, to know that on the other side of those paralyzing apprehensions is completeness, truth and most times, joy.
Carol Schaefer, author of The Other Mother, Mary, Queen of Scots and Play-write, The Sacred Virgin states: “Left as an infant in a brown paper bag on a farmer’s porch and later, having to surrender her baby daughter after being raped, the many layers of Sally Howard’s powerful and inspiring story addresses: baby abandonment laws, rape, the results of an unsuccessful search and the great mystery that drives us to discover our origins. As Howard discovers ‘me’ in the process, she generously helps the reader along with their own journey’s.”
If you wish to order my book please send a check in the amount of $19.95 plus $2.50 for shipping and handling to:
Sally Howard
P.O. Box 383
San Juan Capistrano, CA 92693
Or you can purchase it on Ebay or Amazon auctions
Thanking you in advance,
Sally - 17 June 2003 - California

Jessica | @ | url
I am a reunited adoptee since 1999. Unfortunately, my birthmother and I no longer speak to one another. I believe much of the problems between us began because of the adoption industry. When I was born, she was 16. Her mother had already set up a private adoption and forced her to surrender me. In most cases, immediatley after birth a child is handed to their mother to be held even if only for a few moments. I was carried away and they made sure she never saw me. The hospital did not even allow her to stay on the maternity ward for fear she would go to the nursery and see me! And of course, it did not help matters that the card in my crib reading 'I'M A GIRL' was conveniently left blank where a name should have been. (It was given to my ADOPTIVE MOTHER as a 'souvenier'!) My birth mother was not even told if I was male or female. She eventually convinced an orderly to find out for her. Life for my birthmother did go on, but she was never allowed to speak of me. If anyone ever mentioned it, I had to be referred to as 'the trouble'. Her mother drilled it into her head that I was not her child. And now, all these years later, we can't even have have a fnctioning relationship because her mother branded her so harshly. We've tried... but there is so much she just can't (or won't) talk about. And yes, even after having been reunited with her AND her mother... her mother still HATES me and wants nothing to do with me. This is so sad... and sometimes I wish my birthmother had told her mother about me sooner. Why? Because her mother really wanted her to have an abortion, but my b-mom was too far along. At least if she had the abortion, I would not be enduring hell on earth now. - 17 June 2003 - New Jersey

Melanie Rowell | @
I am an adoptee searching for her first mother. I was born 6 July 1970. I was told she did not want to give me up and tried hard to find a way to keep me. PLEASE if you read this, I would love to talk to you! I was born Buffy Jan in Lynchburg, VA. My first mother stayed at the Florence Crittenden home there. - 15 June 2003 - Georgia

Karen | @ | url
I'm single, 41 years old and unexpectedly pregnant. My due date is October 3, 2003. I have decided to keep my baby and raise it on my own without any financial support or any type of assistance from the father. I've been looking for a site with a support group for my situation and I haven't been able to find one. I just hope I've made the right decision. - 12 June 2003 - Florida

I also wanted to add to my other message (server said it was too long) that maybe you should lobby to eliminate adoption fees. I hear that in England, private adoption is illegal and all adoptions must be performed by the state. With no profit, there is no reason to coerce mothers into giving up their children. The abused and neglected children will be adopted and voluntary adoptions will happen, but for the most part, moms who want to keep their babies will keep them. - 31 May 2003

Bonita Hughes | url
I am in Talk City Chat. Since disclosing the loss of my daughter to adoption and the abuses that go on in chat {just the general abuse BIG time] I have been banned from sites, abused and disrespected, and certainly as a First Mother. I will put the link to Talk City below. When there visit a site called Disinformation and look for a thread 'hi, I am bonita'. Also look for a thread on this site titled on Nurture vs Nature. Please participate if you like. Also visit a site called Flirt and see a special folder thay made for me called 'for asshole like Layla'. Yes, the abuse of First Mothers still continues. - 30 May 2003

Angela Sparks | @ | url
I lost my 4 children though the adoption process. I was young, divorced and received no support. I got no positive effort from the system to meet the goals set before me to keep my kids. My story can be read at: - 24 May 2003 - Lot my kids in California, now reside in Texas

jamie | @
i am researching adoption for school and came acrros this website.
i think that all the women who contributed to the site are amazing and i really feel for them.
i havent been touched by adoption personally but until i read the articles in this webstie i never really new what it was like.
i hope you find peace soon.
xoxo - 20 May 2003 - australia

Karissa Elizabeth Ann Lowell | @ | url
I am both a birth'mom' and an adult adoptee. My second ex and I lost our daughter, and I say this, because she was adopted by her adoptive parents when she was five years old, and all three of us were victims of Va CPS agency which ultimately is responsible for destroying our family and our marriage.
I am now an family rights activist, and advocate for the natural family unless it can be proven absolutely that either 'abuse or neglect' has been done to a child.
Either way, Adoption or Abortion is not a viable solution.
Children belong with their natural parents, and not parents the state or adoption agencies think that are better suited to have care, custody, and control of a child.
God Bless! - 13 May 2003 - Chicago IL USA

Kim Diane Needham | @
I had a baby girl on May 5th 1974, I named her Kelly Needham, she was born at the Chatham General, she was later named Jennifer Levasseur, I am looking for you, and i have a friend helping me, so if anyone knows my 'real' daughter, please contact Rita at please attention Kim Needham (first mother) - 08 May 2003 - Sarnia, Ontario

Anna Brown | @ | url
I have just found your site and it is very interesting, I lost my son to adoption in Ireland in 1981,I was in a mother and baby hell hole in ireland run by catholic nuns (magdeline laundry) for whom the word compassion was not in their dictionary I was reunited with my son on nov 13 2000 in Dublin and we have been in contact ever since.......I will bookmark your page and come back often
Anna Brown - 03 May 2003 - From Ireland but now living in the UK

Nancy | @
I was placed for adoption at birth, and placed a child for open-adoption.
Many years later I had found my adoption papers, and found out my real last name and area, that was fine, at that time I was fine with just that.
Many years later, a lady came back from vacation, and to my amazement she KNEW who I was, and offered me my natural mother's number!! Ever since my natural mother and I have been great friends!
I also had a son I had to give up for adoption, this was an open adoption.
The lady always said, that if you ever want 'our' son back, I will give him back, even though It would hurt. I said that I promise that I would never put you through that.
Since 'our' son is on his own, I did come up with enough, finally, to make a surprise vistit!! It was a week after his 19th Birthday!!
I didn't know what to say, but, said,
'I don't know if you'll remember me,' to my amazement, he
said Nancy, the next word out of his mouth was very unexpected, 'MOM'.
Both of us were very excited, and he did not realize that I knew where he was, what he was doing etc. He asked me if I was visiting someone, in that area, I said, no, I just came to see you!! He could not believe that I went that far, just to see him!! He even said that he was talking about me with his girlfriend, last week!!
We are all so-so proud of him!!
We have been keeping in close contact since!
I know all situations, don't turn out like this, but my
adice, about open adoptions, is to have everything documented, signed, and made legal. I was just lucky that
this family kept their end of the deal, and I kept mine!! - 27 April 2003 - PEI, Canada

Laurie Jean Dunfield-Baker | @ | url
I am a reunited adoptee, so happy to be back with my family. The people who adopted me told me my parents were bad and abused me. Later, I found out through a social worker at the adoption agency what really happened. My father concurred with the papers the social worker gave me. I've never told him what the adopters told me. The adopters told me the adoption agency told them I was abused. All I know is that the truth was hidden somewhere along the line.
Adoption is about lies.
Nothing positive comes out of lies.
I have my family back and am glad for this.
By the way, Laurie Jean Dunfield is my birth name, not my adoptive name. I had to pay California nearly $300.00 to get it back! See my website (it links to this one.) - 20 April 2003 - Sacramento, CA

Edith | @
In 1939, when my mother was pregnant with me, her father and stepmother went to Buffalo and adopted one of Father Baker's babies. My aunt Carole was born in August, 1939--I was born in January, 1940. Although I was an adult when it was pointed out to me, it it not hard to figure out what was going on! When I was 7, my mother walked out and I never saw her or her parents--or my aunt-- again. Obviously, they were an odd bunch. I wonder what happened to Carole; I wonder if she grew up to be as happy as I. She would be 63, now. I wonder.... - 30 March 2003 - Erie, PA

i am the 17 year old mother of my darling little girl melissa who is 2 1/2 (3 in july). i cannot and have never been able to imagine life without her. i am an excellent mother and she always has, is, and will be a happy, productive, and well adjusted child. i support all of the birth mothers who are looking for their children after being forced to place them for adoption some odd years ago and i (just like all of you) knew that i wanted to keep my child and be a mother when i found out i was pregnant at the age of fourteen. the day my daughter was born was the happiest day of my entire life- she is EVERYTHING to me. i want to encourage all unmarried teenage girls or women out there who may be pregnant to keep and raise your child like i did- there is no greater job on this earth than being a parent. and once again, i want to say that i fully support and understand the feelings of the birthmothers who have shared their stories on this site.
love always,
andrea (and melissa) - 25 March 2003 - utah

Sharn | @
I am deeply moved by your stories. I am currently researching the effect of losing a baby to adoption. I want to learn if there are any mothers in Australia who are prepared to tell their story or answer questions about losing your baby, i would love to hear from you. Your stories will remain confidential and are strictly for interest research. I apprecialte any form of information. - 19 March 2003 - Australia

Therese Marie Mcclelland | @
I have decided to search for my birthmother. I only know I was born in Fort Wayne, Indiana June 30, 1969 at Parkview Hospital by a 16 year old girl from a small town in Ohio. I need help searching, I've never searched before and this is new to me being on a computer and all. Please somebody help or send me info or where to begin. Maybe by typing a date and place of bith? How many 16 year olds gave birth on June 30, 1969 at Parkview Hospital in Fort Wayne, Indiana? I'm sure not too many!!!! Please help (502) 4899782 Louisville, Ky - 19 March 2003

Laura | @
I am going after catholic charities - my scarlett letter is off- anyone want to join in, let me know. Their toast - will tell all, but not on site. If interested let us get in touch. - 18 March 2003 - Oakton

Linda webber | @ | url
Anyone think coercion and lies are a thing of the past? Please judge for yourself.. If I told you to check out this site what might you think it could be? Perhaps a support site for Moms that have lost their children to open? Nope this is what it really is ....For birthmothers considering adoption. This is another case of the adoption industry's attempt at bringing in new pregnant moms.
It always gets me too when sites like these say they offer 'free' services to pregnant Moms. . Of course their coercion is 'free' to the Moms, they will recoup their 'losses' from the Prospective adoptive parents.If it looks like a duck, waddles like a duck, quacks like a duck it probably is a duck .Can someone please tell me why this isn't baby selling?By the way I am enclosing my e-mail to them and their reply to truth and love, Linda (reunited Mom of Hope Marie, lost to adoption in 69 and found in love 2-22-97
Subj: hello
Date: 3/10/2003 8:36:06 AM Pacific Standard Time
From: MommaL3
I really find your site unsettling . By the name of the site it appears that it might be a support group for Moms that have lost their children to adoption. It is not until one clicks onto your site that it becomes apparent it is really a site for prospective adoptive parents in hopes of linking up with a pregnant woman. In truth a birthmother is not a birthmother until the adoption becomes finalized. This site appears deceptive and without integrity in your approach to bring in pregnant Women. It would be more honest to call it a prospective adoptive parents site. Truly, Linda Webber
AND THEIR REPLY:I am sorry that our site is unsettling for you. We do offer information for Birthmothers-to-be, adopting parents and adoption professionals; however, we are not a support group for Moms that have lost their children, but rather a site for adopting parents interested in finding a birthmother-to-be.Birthmother is a quick expression accepted in the adoption field for simplistics and not a technical word that is fully defined each time it is used. For example, a white person is not really a white person, but a Caucasian, etc. I suggest you find a site that suits your needs, there should be plenty of them.
Best wishes, - 17 March 2003 - northern calif.

Laura Beall | @
I am a 46 year old birth mother. Went thru CC and guess what I found out during my search for son. I was 16 when my son was adopted and I had 24 months to contest the adoption if it occurred under duress, which it had. My son's father and I wanted to marry 6 months after my son was born and thought we couldn't get him back. I have never in my life felt to betrayed and angry. Found this out monday while reading adoption statutes for 1972 in Virginia for my search. CC says, oh well. Their toast. Laura Beall (thanks for letting me share this, I really needed to without my scarlett letter) - 14 March 2003 - oakton, virginia

Mary Beth
Thank you for this wonderful site. I am glad to see so many people that are sharing their stories and information. I am an adoptee in reunion. I am glad that truthful information was available to me before reunion so I could prepare. My beliefs before preparation were not correct. I bought into all the things I was told. Keep up the good work with this site. Let's all help each other. - 14 March 2003 - USA

Heather Webb | @
I put my first son up for adoption 12 years ago. This was thru an agency that is still operating out of San Antonio TX. It was supposed to be a 'semi-open' adoption. I was to recieve, at minimum, an annual photograph of my child. In the first year of his life, recieved two very nice letters & two sets of photos from the adoptive parents, whose names are Bob and Marianne. After that, they never sent me anything, ever again. I have been pleading with the adoption agency for over a decade to do something, to correct this situation, but they won't do anything. They just give me the same old run-around year after year. I lived up to my end of the contract, and somebody should force them to live up to their end. I mean, isn't an adoption agreement legally binding? If they say agree to send a photo each year, don't they have to do it? It's nothing, really, but it would give me some measure of comfort & peace of mind. I don't know if my son's alive or dead. Do I have any legal recourse? I can't afford to hire an attorney. Is their some state or government agency who supervises these matters, anyone I can contact? What was done to me was unethical in the extreme, if not illegal. The agency misled me about what I could expect from them and from the adoptive parents. They took advantage of my youth and ignorance. My son's name is Ben. He'll be 13 in June. I have other kids now, but he was my first. I think about him every day and wonder if he's okay. I guess that's all. If anybody knows what I can do, please let me know. - 11 March 2003 - Austin, TX, USA

Lisa Crispen | @
I tried to put my story in here, and I kept getting a message that said it was too long. So the short of it is, my mother tricked me into signing my son over to her for her to adopt. He is 13 now, and wants to live with me. She found out he wants to live with me and has now blocked all communication between us. We are both miserable. My mother and her lawyer convinced me it was in my sons 'best interest' to let my mother adopt him. I had no legal counsel at the time I signed the papers. My son was stolen from me. I feel for all the mothers out there who have had a child stolen by adoption. Its so wrong. - 04 March 2003 - West Virginia USA

alix | @
I am so amazed that I was not alone in the world!I was born 03/08(?)/1970 at st. joes hos. in tampa fl. I am F and was called Dolly at the orphonage(if anyone worked there).My Afamily is very againsit me ever knowing the truth.They say if she wanted me to know,she would of.Leave her alone...ect,some really unpleasent things.But it does get worse.I was involved W/abusive man in the mid 90's. Well I was pregnat W/# 3.I left him when the baby was born.The childerns grandparents from the first marriage were so d#m## nice and helpful.It started with letting the kids stay there ,to letting them take the bus(this was so I could find a bigger place,more money,and I had my new baby.)Well,you know how the story goes.They have a fancy lawyer,I have a baby who has to eat,they used stupid blackmail,I was told I didn't have to go to court.I even wrote aletter to the judge.Then they adopted them,and for a while their little brother & I got to visit.Then two years ago I was told we could never see or talk to them...So now I want to find my birthmother,I can only begin to know real pain.Bless us all. - 04 March 2003 - CA

Bonnie Hughes | @
I am a mother who had her baby stolen & sold into adoption. After my daughter was stolen my mother refused to put me on b-control & I had no rights, was denied b-control. I became pregnant again. Promiscuious? Many would like to believe so. In trauma? Yes. I felt ashamed for so long, for getting pregnant again, until I realized the impact of what happened, the aftemath of adoption loss. I do not believe I am the only mother who experienced this. Some had abortions & some lost a second baby to adoption to be punished again. So I will address this comment by Karen (Becker) Mikolainis from Milwaukee, Wisconsin dated 08/January, 2003. Karen writes: 'It's clear that adoption is better than abortion for the baby.' It was always about the baby Karen, to save the baby so an adopter could adopt. It is not about the baby but about adopters. With regard to: 'I would think that the guilt of an abortion is equally devastating for a birth mother, no matter what the 'abortion industry' wants people to believe.' Dear Karen, I had an abortion after having had my baby sold into adoption. In knowing the difference, one cannot compare adoption and abortion pain or guilt. I feel no guilt. There is no comparsion & thinking that abortion is equal to adoption loss & guilt does not an arguement make. This stance is good for you as you are an adoptee & want to adopt. Yes Karen, I agree with the following comment except 'unwed' speaks to archaic values, your underlying personal beliefs, labeling [single] mothers as less then by its use.: 'Perhaps giving unwed mothers the resources to care for their children is the most compassionate approach for mother and child. ' I mean no disrespect to you, but you do not know. peace * bonnie - 02 March 2003 - Yukon Territory, Canada

Bonnie Hughes | @
Hello Bry, Karen and all,
I stopped by to gather quotes for an email I am sending to a reporter in Michigan. We are colaborating on a story to tell of the stealing of my daughter who was sold into Closed Adoption. He is open to learning & is going to look into legal matters for me. One being that I went a day after signing & was told by the social worker the adoption was final. I went back again a few days later & was told the same thing. In Michigan I want to leave my mark; I want an apology from the state speaking to the injustice committed against me & my daughter in 1969/70. I met my daughter & after a reunion of 1 & 1/2 years she terminated contact, telling me she loves me but needs to get consuling. The adopters are resistant to my 32 year old daughter having a relationship with me. He told me, 'I paid 300$ for her.' The male adopter was clear that she was bought & paid for, that I should go away. The state certainly saved money by selling her into adoption as opposed to assisting me to keep her. I know she loves me so much it hurts because she is obligated to them, in servitude. She said she always knew she was adopted, the neat and clean story...I was young, loved her, wanted the best, she was chosen. In meeting me she 'really' learned what adoption is & it hurts. I saw this in her eyes & felt it in her heart. She told me that she always knew their blood did not flow through her nor hers through them. This says alot & I hope in time she gets strong enough to stand up to them. My daughter survived adoption but not without deep wounds & scars. I send cards, simple, just telling her I love her, letting her know I am here. I wish the adopters no harm, although I do not hold any respect for them in their need to own my child, but when they pass on my daughter will truly be set free.
This is closed adoption & a truth that adopters do not like to hear, that adoptees hold obligation & they think this is love * peace * bonnie - 02 March 2003 - Yukon Territory, Canada

Anne Bauer | @
Thanks for being here. My story has already been told. I waited until my son was 18 and I sent a letter to the address I believe he is living. It was an 'open' adoption in the sense that I know where he lives and got a picture once a year. (I am so grateful to know he is at least outwardly in good shape, but he looks so angry in the pictures.) The letter was delivered and not returned, but there is no contact from him and I am coming to believe he wants none. The anger and fear are fresh, and neither my husband nor my long-time friends understand, though they try. I have told my daughter that I had a baby a long time ago but he couldn't come live with me and it is very sad. That's about all she can handle. One of my worst fears was realized - my son doesn't want anything to do with me. Another huge fear of mine is that my daughter will think I think children are expendable because I 'gave' him up for adoption. Pray for us. Let's keep working together so no young woman has to go through this. I have been successful in helping one young woman to get her daughter back and keep her second child without interruption, and will keep attempting to help others. - 26 February 2003 - Montana

Linda Webber | @ | url
My Dear Baby Daughter of Mine
If only I had grabbed you and ran instead of believing that you weren't
to keep
How can God place you in my womb and nurture you until you were to be
welcomed into the world by me your mommy...why was I so weak?
and then believe the lies we weren't meant to be together
When I go to heaven can I have my baby back forever?
I promise to be a good mommy ..I will call it a blessing to wipe the vomit
from your face and clean your little bottom...
OHHH God, why didn't I take you and run?
Why did I believe the lies of my could I have believed
that we weren't meant to be..
I promise you God I will be a good mommie.. but you always knew that
you about me?
OHH please why weren't all my sisters of the earth there for us..
To welcome you into this world and bless our union forever..
.why did I believe the lies I ask..I think I know the answer... I was
scared and didn't know you and I would miss being together..Forgive me
girl...I believed the lies....
in truth and love,
Linda (reunited Mom of Hope Marie,)lost to adoption in 69 and found in love 2-22-97 - 25 February 2003 - northern calif

Cynthia Runyon (nee Ulrich) | @ | url
I, too, am a birthmother (reunited with MY son) In 1969 I was unwed and pregnant....and according to my embarrassment (after all what would the neighbors think?) The next call I received was from the birthfather's attorney referring me to a maternity home. I wanted my baby. I entered 'the Cradle' in August of 1969 where I was 'placed' in a private household where I was told I was to care for the family's children. Child care also consisted of washing, ironing, cleaning, cooking and general all around maid duty.....after all, I deserved no better. I was told my baby would be placed in a good home with TWO parents. I was told I'd forget and go on to have children of MY OWN. While in labor I asked the doctor for something to help with pain. I heard a doctor and a nurse talking in the hall and the doctor told the nurse and I QUOTE: 'she is an unwed mother...let her hurt she deserves it' I heard my baby cry but they didn't let me see him...I was placed in a private room...the only visitors received were the woman who's home I had resided and the social worker from 'The Cradle' The woman who's house I lived in promptly told me how inconveinent my timing was because she had to prepare Thanksgiving dinner by herself. The social worker brought in my baby boy's blank birth certificate in told me to sign it...that it would be filled out later for his REAL parents. I had time and went to the Cradle nursery and asked to hold my baby..They did not like this..but I held him, kissed him, told him that I loved him....(I wanted to run with him) They told me I'd forget (I didn't) they told me I'd get on with my life I am now reunited....but am not united...My son has made it perfectly clear that his adoptive parent's are his parents (They are lovely people, Thank God) Everytime he calls his adoptive mom, mom, in my presense I hurt so bad inside that I want to vomit I love you Mike I always have and always will - 24 February 2003 - Maryland now..Illinois at relinquishment

Cheryl Dunlap | @
I fight CPS. I fight for others whose children have been stolen the system. I live for the day these bureaucrats are ran into banishment. I am always on the computer learning about this tyranny and come across different sites and links. i always sign guest books in support. We and many others are working to slay the beast. There is a National Freedom March scheduled for early June 2003. Meet June 8 in DC. We have to expose their evil before any progress can be made. - 15 February 2003 - Bristol, VA

Kathy Caudle | @ | url
It's my opinion that natural mothers are disenfranchised. We certainly aren't given information needed to make informed decisions concerning ourselves and our babies. No information as such was ever given to me. Nothing was ever said about the legal relationship between RELINQUISHMENT and ABANDONMENT. A 1946 Missouri case, In Re Watson, established the legal definition of relinquishment to mean abandonment. Though I'm not listing the complete citation here this case can be found in any law library. Reference page 2 of 'Black's Law Dictionary' can also be made which shows the different types of adoptions. Social workers talk in terms of voluntary or INvoluntary child placement by the mother. Judges however make no such distinction. Such is because judges consider every child being adopted, regardless of the circumstances described above, to be the same and that is abandoned. Mothers need to know this. It's the first legal information mothers need when considering adoption, for their baby. Natural mothers who've already lost children to adoption need to also consider that according to the law we have no legal status. This is because the law does not consider that we, as natural mothers, exist. Thus the law does not recognize us, because the law does not recognize what the law considers non-existent. Until this basid fundamental fact is understood we natural mothers will keep losing court cases no matter how vigorously we argue Fourteenth Amendment Due Proces clause violations. Judges never will listen to us as natural mothers until the law legally recognizes natural mothers as having legal status which we currently don't have because, as I've said, the law considers we don't exist. These facts of law are basic to all the battles that follow. Fourteenth Amendment arguments are too broad. We need to argue specifics of the law, statutes which explicityly discriminate against natural mothers, administrative laws which expressly deny services to natural mothers and the like. Thank you again, for letting me speak. Kathy Caudle, Natural Mother, Salt Lake City, Utah - 14 February 2003 - 679 South 500 East, Salt Lake City, UT 841052

Webmistress comments: -  Hi Kathy - please email me privately at . I want to talk to you re First Mothers Action Group. :) - Maxine


Kathy Caudle | @ | url
Hello, again. If I could leave just this one more message here, I would be deeply grateful. The provisions of the federal law I am about to cite discrimiantes against those mothers (and fathers) [commonly referred to as 'birth' parents] who've wrongly lost children to adoption because [a] social worker[s] fraudulently removed their child[ren] from their custody. Title 42 United States Code (U.S.C.) section 5113(b)(10)(v)(vii) and also Title 42 U.S C. section 5113(C)(2)(G) both deny funding for support groups for those mothers and fathers described above while simultaneously provides money for the same kind of groups for adoptive parents and adoptive children. When I first studied this federal law I realized it's no wonder social workers and anyone else who arranges adoption act so boldly in practicing misrepresentation and deceit (elements of fraud) in securing infant babies for the supply-and-demand adoption industry. This message is being left so that others in addition to myself can lobby Congress for reform to these provisions of federal law. Thank you, again. - 11 February 2003 - 679 South 500 East, Salt Lake City, Utah, 84102