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Entries - February 2003 to February 2004
Gene | @ | url
Minnesota Coalition for Adoption Reform is working on new legislation
that will allow adopted adults access to their original birth certificates.
We need all the help and support we can get! Contact your friends
and relatives in MN to get onboard; visit our website: www.adoptreform.org.
Legislators say they want to protect the older birthmothers, but we
all know those older birthmothers are dying in grief from not being
able to reunite with their children. - 03 February 2004 -
Minnesota, USA
abby | @
I was a young pregnant teen I did not like the idea of an adoption
agency so I chose a private adoption. This week I called the attorney
to have a release of information form mailed to me and found out that
he (attorney) was partners with Stanley Michelman in NY. Michelman
ran an unethical adoption agency in NY. I was floored. I am now stuck!!!
I was betrayed and deceived by an attorney that I thought had my son's
best interest at heart. How can this happen? This was in SC in 1981.
I would never do it again. Adoption stinks if it is not done with
the birthmother's and child's best interest. - 24 January 2004
- US/CT
Webmistress comments: - Hi Abby: I have forwarded your
message to someone in NY who may have information. Keep searching
for answers.
MARK H PHILLIPS OR STEVEN | @
LOOKING FOR BIRTH MOTHER BORN 1964 ADOPTION PAPERS OR 1965 .I WAS
BORN IN ARAPAHO HOSPITAL IN COLORADO. LATTER IN FOSTER CARE THEN ADOPTED
RECORDS WERE SEALED IN COLARADO. MOVED TO FORT WORTH TEXAS. THERE
IS A WHOLE IN MY HEART I NEED TO KNOW AM AFRAID TOO.I WAS TOLD MY
MOM WAS MARRIED AND HAD TWO OTHER CHILDREN SHE HAD AN AFFAIR OUT OF
HER MARRIAGE AND HE MADE HER GIVE ME AWAY .THEN I WAS TOLD I WAS 18
MONTHS OLD. LATER THEY SAID MY ADOPTED PARENTS THAT I WAS 3YRS OLD.LOOKING
TO REUNITE SOON ASP. - 23 January 2004 - I LIVE IN N.C.
teresa | @
looking for birth daughter born 10-23-1983 - 20 January 2004
- ga
Webmistress comments: - Teresa: You might try going
to http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/.
Click on "Search Support Sites" (on the left margin), then
on the page it brings you to, scroll down and click on the state you're
searching in. A number of groups are listed there that may be able
to help. All the best.
Linda Webber | @
Well, Bill Pierce died of cancer, but his work and the work of the
NCFA lives on with the creation of bill HR 7 This bills intent is
to create 'group homes for pregnant women'. HR 7: Charitable Giving
Act of 2003.
Includes a provision that provides funding for maternity group homes
to provide pregnant women with information regarding the option of
placing children for adoption through licensed adoption service providers;
assistance with prenatal care and child birthing; and pre- and post-placement
adoption counseling. Referred to the House Subcommittee on Select
Education on June 20, 2003. Passed and agreed to by House on September
17, 2003. Received in Senate on September 17, 2003.
Contact your Congressional representatives to ask for their support
in defeating these legislative initiatives.
House of Representatives www.house.gov
Senate www.senate.gov
PS. I read the documents of 'The infant adoption Act' before they
deleted them and they stated that too many Moms are keeping their
babies when they have family support so they advocated as the solution
to recreate the 'homes' It is a well known fact that mind control
works best without a support system. President Bush is tight with
the National Council for Adoption who has a strong lobby powered by
adoption agencies. The truth is because of birthcontrol, abortion
and more women keeping their babies there is a shortage of Healthy
white infants up for sell to wealthy clients of the over billion dollar
industry. Services for women and children have decreased while tax
credits for adoption has increased.
These programs do not address foster children or abused child. The
adoption brokers want infants. The US and Somalia were the only two
countries that would not sign the UN Mandate for the rights of the
child. Why? Because it is stated that whenever possible a child should
remain with their natural family and this is not very adoption friendly
to those whose purpose is to buy and sell children. Too many people
in America believe that if they can buy it they are entitled to it.
And this unfortunately is also the mind set of wealthy childless couples.
We must go in truth,love and action! Linda Webber - 18 January
2004 - northern Calif.
Peggy Koehler(KNAPP) | @
I was adopted though a BLACK MARKET adoption in 1967. My birthmothers
maiden name was KNAPP. I have been searching for 19 years. I love
you for your choice to give me life and hope to meet you one day.
- 15 January 2004
Sandra Jean (Woods)(Wilkerson)Gobely | @
I am a 51 year old Adoptee looking for any bio family. Birth date,
March 25, 1952, in Fort Worth TX to Martha (Wilkerson) Woods and Howard
Woods. Adopted by Grandfather, John h Wilkerson and his third wife,
Rita June (Burke) Wilkerson , 1955 in Mich. - 15 January 2004
- I am in Apache Junction, AZ
susan church
Birth Mother Susan Ann Bickert - Church
Birth Father Rodney Andrew Church
Female Born in May of 1972-3
Mt Diablo Hospital
Contra Costra County
California
Was told infant had died but with held baby’s body and there is no
birth or death records available
Contact Susan Church by snail mail;
POB 332
Priest River, ID 83856
Her name would have been Crystal Ann - 15 January 2004 -
usa
Maryn | @
Hello, I am an adoptee, and my heart goes out the mothers that have
had their children stolen away from them so to speak. I was put up
for adoption when i was an infant, and it has been an issue for me
my entire life. I have always yearned to know my mother, at least
to know if she loved or hated me. its the not knowing that kills you
i think. im sure birthmothers understand that. im working on a web-site
currently on open records, please come by and sign the guest-book,
check out the links, maybe one of them will help you out. but keep
fighting, and we will win this fight.
this is my web site, the entire link wouldnt fit on the space provided.
http://hometown.aol.com/prayermovesmntns/adopteesopenrec
rds.htm - 04 January 2004
Webmistress comments: - Hello Maryn:
Out of all the hundreds of natural mothers I've met on-line and off,
all have loved their children and have lived with unspeakable sorrow
from being separated from them, such as myself. Sadly, there are situations
out there in our society where mental illness or a history of having
been abused as a child can get in the way of forming healthy attachments,
but I pray you find your mother healthy, and come to know her love
for you. All the best to you in your search.
Bonnie Hughes | @
I know some of you ladies from first contact with Sunflowers in 1998
I believe. I found my daughter who was stolen from me in Michigan
in 1969. I made first contact in Sept. 2000 and we met a year later.
We have had our ups and downs and I have not heard from her since
last contact in Sept. 2003 when she went into an early labor with
her first child. This is adoption and I do not know anything about
my second grandchild. I pray the baby is well. I do not know if she
will ever really be in my life and I live with this each day and go
on because I do have 2 other children who I love dearly and they love
me. It is all I can do. My second child and his wife made me a grandmother
in July 2003. My daughter did not have a good life as she was not
with her mother. No one could ever replace me. She is a very confused
and freightened young woman. I believe that she loves me so much and
she is so sad for what was not, that it hurts to know me and her siblings.
I hope in time she finds her way. Even if I am not to be a part of
her life she is always in my heart, my thoughts and prayers. Adoption
was NEVER the answer. Adoption is NOT the answer. - 03 January
2004
ellen | @
Finally, a site for the ACTUAL mother. Not the imposter. I am the
Natural Actual mother of my daughter who I 'gave up' for adoption
- at the age of 24 no less in 1972. Five years ago I contacted my
daughter via the Lutheran Social Service agency that managed the adoption.
They managed to interfere so profoundly with this reunion via the
imfamous 'Non Idetifying information' piece of fiction that they sent
to her without my consent or knowledge, that she basically tolerates
that I have contacted her. She is married with two lovely children
and another on the way. These are my blood relatives and I am called
by my first name. Her husband got her to come and visit this past
summer, it was nerve wracking and wonderful and disapointing and hopful
. . . . does anybody relate?
I was deserted by the father mid pregnancy and recieved only sin and
shame support from my parents, no job, (in those days pregnant women
weren't hired)sooooo I went to a home for unwed mothers to get a place
to live and vitamins and good food and medical care for me and the
baby. I had no real concept that the price was so steep. The social
worker continually told me I'd get over it, even, months later when
I wrote to ask for information about how the baby was. AAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!
Now, 32 years later, I have been married to my husband of 25 years,
not the father of my daughter, and we have a son who is 21 years old.
I am very glad I got to have this child.
As many have said here - the pain, betrayal, propoganda, rejection
of society and most painfully my daughter is never ending. It has
lessened through the contact and being in her physical presence. I
have and am presently seeing a counselor again. That's another story
people. Most counselor's are so unaware of the pain of loss that they
say very unencouraging things. And are really quite clueless and can't
quite get why I, the natural mother, am so upset. Amazing. So interview
the therapist first.
I plan on reading some of the books listed and encourage others to
check out bastardnation.com another adoptee rights site.
Thanks Again for this access. Ellen - 02 January 2004 -
North Dakota
Tiffany Johnson | @
I am looking 4 my precious little girl born on 06/29/93 at Mcleod
Regional Medical Center.Her name given at birth was Stephanie Anne
Wiltse.I just want to know that she is ok and with good parents.I
have registered with ISRR.NET.I tried 2 get my baby back within 15
minutes of signing relinquishment.I was told she was already gone
and even if she were there,it was too late..I had already signed!I
was wondering if the adoption had to be finalized in the same state
as the birth mother and if there should have been any kind of waiting
period before it was too late?If anyone can help,all is greatly appreciated.....I
just want to know she is alive and well and for her to always KNOW
that I love her no matter how far away she is!She was born in Florence,SC
and the adoption took place in Myrtle Beach,SC.The attorney was Harry
Pavilack & Associates.Thank you and may God bless you richly!
- 02 January 2004 - South Carolina
Charles Hannasch | @
| url
I am a free-lance investigative writer interested in researching and
possibly writing about - depending on what I find - abuses in the
adoption process, with special emphasis on cases based on the following
priorities:
1. Central Florida
2. Florida statewide
3. Raleigh - Durham - Chapel Hill, North Carolina
4. North Carolina statewide
5. Dallas, Texas
6. the Dallas - Forth Worth Metroplex
7. Texas statewide, and
8. United States
In particular, I am interested in bad things resulting from
- Dual Representation: where one attorney represents both biological
and adoptive parents. Or, where the attorney representing a biological
parent is paid for by the prospective adoptive parents.
- Documented cases by a state or local public adoption agency which
have been covered in the local news media,
- Documented cases by a state or local public adoption agency which
have not been covered in the local media,
- Documented cases by a state or local private adoption agency which
have been covered in the local news media,
- Documented cases by a state or local private adoption agency which
have not been covered in the local media,
- Documented cases by a state or local public social services agency
- including social workers and/or suervisors - which have been covered
in the media,
- Documented cases by a state or local public social services agency
- including social workers and/or suervisors - which have not been
covered in the media,
- Documented cases by a state or local private social services agency
- including social workers and/or supervisors - which have been covered
in the media,
- Documented cases by a state or local private social service agency
- including social workers and/or supervisors - which have not beencovered
in the media,
- Documented cases by a state or local court which have been covered
in the media, and
- Documented cases by a state or local court which have not been covered
in the media.
Anyone with relevant information may contact me at:
adoptionproject@justice.com.
Thank you. - 29 December 2003 - Orlando, Florida
Irene
... though I'd love to meet/see my natural parents, I'm just too tired
to try. There's so much red tape and bullshit involved - it gets discouraging.
Seems impossible. How many postings can one person put. And being
born in 1970 doesn't help eithern cause it seems EVERYONE was adopted
in 70. I WOULD love to know my medical make-up - or perhaps where
I got my hands or eyes from. I resemble no one. Is my musical talent
Nature or Nurture? Things like that. But these questions may go the
grave with me. And perhaps - at that time - all WILL be answered.
Or so I like to hope. - 23 December 2003 - Philadelphia,
PA
dana | @
I have no adoption experience either way. I just stumbled unto this
site by accident but was captivated for two hours reading everything,
including the guestbook. I never knew anything like happened, the
word definitely needs to get out about forced adoptions, this makes
me sick to my stomach. I had my daughter young, I couldn't imagine
not having her in my life. How can we get the public's attention?
- 21 December 2003 - JAPAN
lynn cicle | @
has anyone sent information to heather and aron regarding what is
happening in Oklahoma regarding child trafficking? if not Please contact
lynncicle@cox.net. I want to help her and
may have some lawyers that can help as well! Alot of us are working
together in Oklahoma and Kansas and have a lot of imformation that
could be helpful - 14 December 2003 - usa
Lisa Quan | @
I was 20 years old when I got pregnant. This was planned and wanted
pregnancy. I wanted a child to take care of so bad. I loved children.
I still do but with hesitation now. There isn't a day that goes by
that I don't have tears for my daughter. The father abused me sexually,
physically and emotionally. I got a restraining order on him for 3
years. Throughout my pregnancy I would just think: if I kept this
baby he would be in my life forever. Well, if I knew what it was like
giving up my baby I would have dealt with this asshole in my life.
Most likely he would not visit us, but who knows. Who knows the future
anyway? All I know is that I would not wish this pain on anyone. I
would never change my mind of adoption because it is too late. I already
gave my baby to a loving home (Nov. 13th, 2003). I would never wish
this pain on anyone though, not even people I didn't know. Love thy
neighbor as thyself. But if you are a birthmother and haven't given
up your baby yet, don't! It is torture. Tears of rage forever, Lisa.
contact me at marie1867@aol.com - 01 December 2003
- Bakersfield, California
Pat Roberts
It is a please to see this site. I was forced to surrender
by baby in 1968. I had a beautiful reunion with my daughter in 1989,this
week is fifteen years since I made contact (1988 Thanksgiving),unfortunately
we are not in contact for the last fourteen years. I was in the first
march in Wasington DC to open records, which took place on her 21st
birthday.
It has boggled my mind that the rest of the world thinks adoption
is wonderful. I have never considered myself a birthmother. I am a
MOTHER who was forced to leave her baby
and I would forget. I have not forgotten. My daughter is always in
my thoughts. - 24 November 2003 - New York
Heather Stonerock and Ryan Antinori | @
To all who care,
My boyfriend and I were considering adoption for our baby. I was due
on November the 20,2003. We contacted this attorney on November 3rd
to find out about our options. We met with an attorney from there
firm on the 4th. They gave us a list if six prospective adoptive parents
on the 5th. We choose one that day(Kathleen and Matthew Slater of
Jupiter Florida). The attorneys were going to set it up so we could
meet them. However I went into labor on the 6th,fourteen days early.
The first time we met or even spoke to the adoptive parents was in
the delivery room. We did sign the papers but the attorneys did not
wait the full 48 hours or until I was discharged from the hospital
as it states in the Florida Statue. We changed our minds about two
hours after we signed the papers. The attorney was extemely mean and
hateful to us and the hospital staff. She managed to get a courtordered
discharge from a criminal judge(not a family law judge) in the 15th
judical court to let my baby go home with prospective adoptive parents
who havent even had there case study done yet. We are now in a lawsuit
with some very rich people. I am only twenty years old and the father
is only eightteen years old. We really want are son back, This attorney
as a reputation for being mean and ruthless. Please please help!
Heather Stonerock & Ryan Antinori - 21 November 2003 -
Tampa Florida
Kelli Jones | @
I am presently continuing my search for my birth niece. She was born
in Richmond VA @ St. Mary's Hospital on 4.18.79, birthname of Tabitha
Jones. I have signed up on many registries, and have even found a
match that I emailed but got no response back. So this is another
posting on another registry/guestbook in hopes that someone will see
it, and want to respond. I have been searching for over a 1 year,
which I know isn't nearly as long as some people have searched for
a loved one. If anyone has any input to help me on this road, of which
I know very little, please give me your two cents! Thanks so much
for your time, and good luck to all the searchers out there! - 21
November 2003 - Virginia
Webmistress comments: - Kelli: You might try going to
http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/.
Click on "Search Support Sites" (on the left margin), then
on the page it brings you to, scroll down and click on the state you're
searching in. A number of groups are listed there that may be able
to help. All the best.
Cheryle
This site has been truly inspirational. I am a 38 year old single
Mom of three, who has found herself with child. My other 3 children
are all of the same father. A great father but a terrible cheating
husband. My dilema.. The babies father is abusive, drug user, whom
i can't even look at let alone find my self having to be involved
with this man because whe have a child in common. Why did I let myself
get that far is beyond me. And too very late for shoulda, coulda or
woulda. After reading the letters, it has become more evident to me
that I must keep this child, even if it means that... Whew, a long
rough ride lies ahead. The thought of having a child out there who
might not get the 'wonderful adoptive parents' is very frightening,
then I truly would hate my self more than I am now. The saddest, thing
is not having not one person to whom I can have help me through this
but my self. Letters from ladies whom have gone thru this trial and
tribulations would be greatly appreciated. Blessings ladies!!!
cherylecat2000@yahoo.com
- 17 November 2003 - Las Vegas, NV
Webmistress comments: - Cheryle: More than anything
or anyone in the world, your baby needs YOU. We were deceived by "experts"
and "authorities" into believing that we could not provide
for our baby's needs and were completely replaceable. We found out
years later that this was an astounding lie. Don't beat yourself up
now over the course of circumstances -- have mercy on yourself and
take good care of your health as you prepare for and nurture this
precious child who needs YOU. S/he has one mother. You are your baby's
world - not only before birth but after.
http://www.geocities.com/naturalfamilies/parenting_resources_.html
Mary | @
The old story of 'your child was stillborn' is a very crafty way for
an immoral physician to keep a baby, and make money doing the black
market adoption. On November 25, 1970, I was only 16 and gave birth
to my 8 lb. 14 oz son. He was born at Lutheran Medical Center (now
Exempla Lutheran) in Wheatridge Colorado. The obstetrician was M.W.
Pfenninger. I never believed my son was born dead. I always suspected
my parents and the physician of having a common goal of adopting my
child without my knowledge, for 'my own good'. Just this last year,
I found, on 'Colorado Regulatory Agencies' a way to find disciplinary
actions against physicians. I found this Mark Pfenninger had been
charged with several patient violations....and the AMA and the Colorado
Attorney Generals office was going to pull his license for substandard
care of his female patients with over a dozen verified and substantiated
complaints. I searched for my son for 15 years, but to no avail. It
is as if he dropped off the face of the earth. The pain of losing
a child is a neverending one. Anyone that was told a similar story
or wants to know more, write me MaryRindahl@yahoo.com Be Well. - 15
November 2003 - Kansas
New Book For Mothers Of Adoption Loss | url
'ADOPTION HEALING, A PATH TO RECOVERY FOR MOTHERS WHO LOST CHILDREN
TO ADOPTION,' (Gateway Press) by Joe Soll & Karen Wilson Buterbaugh
~~
'ADOPTION HEALING is a testament to the terrible and long-lasting
injustice that was done to so many women in our recent past, when
'authorities' snatched their babies and told these mothers that they
would forget. Buterbaugh and Soll have crafted a deeply caring book
that reaches out to mothers who will never forget.' - Rickie Solinger,
author of Wake Up Little Susie: Single Pregnancy and Race before Roe
v. Wade, and Beggars and Choosers: How the Politics of Choice Shapes
Adoption, Abortion, and Welfare in the U.S ~~
'ADOPTION HEALING needs to carry a warning: 'Beware! Read at your
own risk. Long-buried feelings are bound to surface. Not advisable
to read without support.' ADOPTION HEALING is not for the fainthearted.
Some will say it's radical, and it is. But it is the very radicalness
that leads you to your own truth--to the place of healing.' - Carol
Schaefer, author of The Other Mother and Mary Queen of Scots; playwright
of The Sacred Virgin ~~
'This 'must read' leads sleep-walking mothers through painful quagmires
of suppressed memories into fully-lived lives. It validates their
trauma, loss and grief. Therapists can help them understand the depth
of their dysfunction post-adoption. Loss of a child to adoption is
horrific; readers learn that adoption isn't a viable ‘solution’ to
an unplanned pregnancy. A mother can learn to deal with her pain and
reclaim her motherhood... this book teaches how she can be safely
led home to herself.' - Joss Shawyer, author of Death By Adoption
~~
“As an adoption reform activist, I found ADOPTION HEALING to be the
most straightforward and honest book I have ever read. The authors
presentation of the material explains the myths and facts of the exiled
mother’s experience in a most clear and concise manner. ADOPTION HEALING
is one of those very special books that is difficult to put down!”
- Sandy Musser, Adoption Activist and Author of I Would Have Searched
Forever and To Prison With Love~~
To order ADOPTION HEALING, click on the link below (for mothers):
http://www.AdoptionHealing.com/Moms/
- 15 November 2003
Sonja | @
I'd like to offer my support to Mothers who have posted messages to
this guestbook. Somewhere on this site I saw a thought that really
hit me hard: when there is one option there is no choice. How true
that is. I'm a bereaved Mother, but I lost my daughter to cancer when
she was three. Knowing the pain of the loss of a child, I could not
imagine losing a child yet knowing he or she is out there somewhere,
and all the anguish that must cause. You are all so strong; such amazing
women! If I could leave you with a thought (it might help a teensy,
tiny bit), it would be this. You are all beautiful Bonsai trees. To
make a Bonsai tree you must abuse and manipulate and torment a young
vulnerable sapling. For the sapling to become the Bonsai tree it must
be strong and persevere the abuse and the torture. In surviving it
has become an exquisite specimen, a testament to the innate strength
of the sapling. Each Bonsai tree is unique, spectacular, and immensely
more valuable than the sapling was before its ordeal. This guest book
is truly a Bonsai garden! God bless each of you! - 13 November
2003 - Ottawa Canada
David Jenkins & Amanda Turner-Edwards | @
We are currently involved in a custody case regarding social services
in our area over them currently having custody of our two young babies
(2yr,1yr old)and are currently planning on adopting our babies without
our consent.We feel that through this high profile case as it stands
at the moment local authority's have bullied us and also lied throughout
this case in making un-proven allegations against us both.If there
is anyone who can be of any help for us and our family that is at
risk then please contact me at my email address. - 13 November
2003 - South Wales (Uninted Kingdom)
Erika | @
In 2001, I was evicted from my home and than sexually assaulted. I
temporarily placed my 2 daughters and when I tried to have them back,
was forced to sign my 16 month old up for adoption. They accused me
of being unfit and seperated the children. I got my older daughter
back 2 months after signing the adoption papers. I never was informed
of my rights. I've been trying for the past 2 years to find a lawyer
who can help reinstate my rights.
If you know of anyone who can help it would be greatly appreciated.
My younger daughter just turned 4 and i havetn seen her in 2 yrs.
Please help me reunite my family. my daughter and i miss her. - 12
November 2003 - Toronto,ON
Katie | @
Adoption has literally broke my heart time and time again. Since the
day I came home from Edna Gladney (aka The Gladney Center) in Fort
Worth, Texas...my adoptive parents began telling me I was adopted.
I've never really felt any sort of true bond with them. (I know that
sounds horrible, but it's true.) Other than they were all I had, and
the only way I'd survive was to accept them as my parents. I'm now
26 yrs. old & married. In a lot of ways...I still feel like a
child. I still want my birthmother & with each year that goes
by my desire to be reunited with her (or any of my birthfamily) only
grows stronger. My birthmother's father (my grandfather) is/was of
Cherokee descent & I feel as if I'm being robbed of my heritage.
All I really want is to find her. If she wishes to keep me a part
of her past, I understand, but I need closure. This is part of my
life from the time I wake up until the moment I fall asleep each night.
I'm under the impression that it was illegal for Edna Gladney to even
accept me for placement. Since I am Native American. Even though I'm
only a little bit. For the sake of my heart, soul, & sanity...I
hope I find someone soon.
Good luck to everyone searching! - 09 November 2003 - Katy,
Texas
Katie | @
Adoption has literally broke my heart time and time again. Since the
day I came home from Edna Gladney (aka The Gladney Center) in Fort
Worth, Texas...my adoptive parents began telling me I was adopted.
I've never really felt any sort of true bond with them. (I know that
sounds horrible, but it's true.) Other than they were all I had, and
the only way I'd survive was to accept them as my parents. I'm now
26 yrs. old & married. In a lot of ways...I still feel like a
child. I still want my birthmother & with each year that goes
by my desire to be reunited with her (or any of my birthfamily) only
grows stronger. My birthmother's father (my grandfather) is/was of
Cherokee descent & I feel as if I'm being robbed of my heritage.
All I really want is to find her. If she wishes to keep me a part
of her past, I understand, but I need closure. This is part of my
life from the time I wake up until the moment I fall asleep each night.
I'm under the impression that it was illegal for Edna Gladney to even
accept me for placement. Since I am Native American. Even though I'm
only a little bit. For the sake of my heart, soul, & sanity...I
hope I find someone soon.
Good luck to everyone searching! - 09 November 2003 - Katy,
Texas
Nikki Neuman | @
I am very happy about this website; mostly because I am an adopted
child myslef. People often look at adopted children
as if we should be thankful or blessed that a family took us in. I
know upfront; throughout my life, I have watched as children go from
home to home. I am adopted, but I know nothing about my past. It is
hard doing assignments such as family trees, or having people constantly
ask 'Is she yours?' to my adopted mom. It hurts inside not knowing
the truth about my family, or who my parents are. If more poeple understand
how adopted children are affected, then more doors can be open to
make sure poeple like me know who they are. - 05 November 2003
- Monmouth County
donya | @
i just posted a message looking for assistance on how to recant my
signing of parental rights in order to get my son back before the
adoption is finalized, but i forgot to give my email address. If ANYONE
has any information on ways to get around this awful Florida law please
write me at donya33@yahoo.com.
Thank you. - 01 November 2003 - Orlando, FL
donya | @
i just put my newborn son up for adoption last week and i now realize
that i made a terrible mistake. i was unemployed, but am now working
at home (so i could be with him if i could only get him back!) the
problem is i live in FL where once i sign off my parental rights,
it's over. But the adoption will not be finalized for 90 days. Does
ANYBODY know of anything i can do? thye agency promised me the world
and as they did help me it was nothing like i expected, but i had
already signed papers with them and they threatened me with jail if
i changed my mind and didn't pay them back assistance money within
3 days. PLEASE - i can use any advice - i need my son back with me!
thank you - 01 November 2003 - Florida, Orlando
Sherrie Lindley | @
I was lied to by the adoption agency that my beautiful little girl
was adopted through. It was supposed to be a semi-open adoption. About
5 years ago the adoptive family stopped writing and because the adoption
agency is no longer in the state of Oklahoma they cannot help me.
- 29 October 2003
Destiny Hooks | @
I have felt for many years that I was adopted by my birth father and
his wife, but never felt like I could prove it. I could remember overhearing
this one lady say that I was her child, but as a young girl I felt
that I could dismiss that conversation, Until I started to feel connected
to her and her family. Her sister spent alot of time trying to be
there for me including High School Graduation, College Visits, and
I felt that was strange. In 1998, I had a chance to visit this lady
who I felt was my birth mother and the connection was there, she talked
and held my hand the whole time never letting go she starred in my
eys and she kept asking me about my life. A few months ago I found
a Letter that was written to the mother that raised me and it was
thanking her for the picture of me and the letter. I was stunned because
it seems to be real. I feel extremly connected to this lady and I
long for a mother -daughter relationship, but I don't know if this
feeling is real. I really feel that it is, but no one in my family
seem to be talking about it. I felt that the truth would come out
but I have no one to discuss this with at all, I'm afraid that they
won't understand my feelings. Who could I talk to about this feeling
and should I pursue a mother-daughter relationship with this lady.
- 28 October 2003 - Northeast USA
Webmistress comments: - Dear Destiny: You deserve to
know the truth about who you are and who your mother is, and to pursue
a relationship with her; but first-off, it's important to find a safe
place to talk about your feelings and concerns, and to receive support
and guidance. You might look into finding a reunion search and support
group close to you. If you know of none off-hand you may start by
going to: http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/
and clicking on Search Support Sites on the left margin. Once at the
page, scroll down and click on your state. There are 476 groups listed
nation-wide. In these groups are those of us who are painfully familiar
with the issues inherent in being separated from our parents and/or
children - places to find validation, support, and helpful suggestions
on how to proceed. I wish you well.
Ginger | @ | url
ISO my half sisters born in Tacoma Washington in the 60's. Our birth
father is Cutine L. Taylor. He is living in Seattle Washington or
surrounding area. Cutine should be getting close to 60 years old now.
Mrs. Taylor, our birth grandmother is living in Tacoma Washington.
Please view my web page listed in the message. Thank you. - 25
October 2003 - Oklahoma
Becky Sherrin (Rebecca Atkeisson Sherrin) | @
I am looking for my birthmother. I was born July 9, 1969 in Corsicana,
Tx., at Navarro Memorial Hospital. - 21 October 2003 - USA
Webmistress comments: - Becky: For search and support
help in your state, try this. Go to http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/
and click on "Search Support Sites" (on the left margin),
then on the page it brings you to, scroll down and click on Texas.
A number of groups are listed there that may be able to help you in
your search. All the best.
Becky Sherrin (Rebecca Atkeisson Sherrin) | @
I am looking for my birthmother. I was born July 9, 1969, in Corsicana,
Texas, at Navarro Memorial Hospital. - 21 October 2003 -
USA
james good | @
| url
I was placed for adoption and I am so glad that I found my birth mother
it has been a long road there are questions that I think it could
have been a fraud adoption. I am so glad that I recieved help from
http://www.givenright.com
the women there helped me find my birthmother - 20 October 2003
- cal
amy | @
just want people to know that not all birthmothers had their children
stolen from them. some gave them up very willingly although they still
love their child. I ws raped at 17 and gave my child life instead
of abortion. he lives with two stable loving parents who do not look
at him any different.Iwas afraid that I would always look at him and
see my rapist. there are stories of good adoptions. - 17 October
2003 - usa
Webmistress comments: - Amy,
Thanks for your submission to the guestbook. I don't know whether
the website authors will retain it but they did ask me to write a
message for you.
Your situation is an unfortunate and very difficult one. I lost my
son for similar reasons. I was very truamatized from the rape and
I was just plain afraid of what to tell people and of what to tell
him so that he would still think well of himself. I was worried that
my feelings about his father might impact my feelings for him. I had
mixed feelings, but under it all, I loved him very much. I wanted
the best for him. I never thought about the day he would come looking
for me and I would have to figure out what to tell him anyway. But,
that day is approaching. After much soul-searching I have figured
out what to tell him. And I figured out what I should have told people
had I kept him and they asked questions.
I will tell him the truth - that his father hurt me very much and
that I don't know if it is something he did just once and then learned
from it or not. I will tell him I consider him the best thing that
ever happened to me and I'm so happy he was born. I will tell him
I did the best I knew how at the time. I will even encourage him to
look his father up - because it is his father and I know it may provide
him with some needed healing.
If I had kept him, and people I didn't know well had asked about his
father I think I would just look at them and say confidently: "I
am his father AND his mother." If they asked again, I would just
repeat it. And if they asked again, I'd change the subject by saying
something like "Do you think my butt looks fat in these shorts?"
I would not get angry - these people most likely aren't really trying
to pry, they just aren't thinking.
Would it have been difficult? Yes.
Would it have gotten better over time and been worth it? Yes. I say
yes because after 15 years I no longer have nightmares about the rape.
But I have always missed my son terribly. I wonder all the time about
what it would have been like to take him to the park and play catch.
To see him running around with his many cousins. Especially what it
would have been like to hear him laugh. I miss that so much. I never
will get to see him as a little boy, never get to hug him and make
his boo-boos better, never get to see him in a high school play or
on the soccer team.
In addition one day one of my friends who is an adult adoptee told
me with incredible hurt in his eyes: "My mother didn't want me."
He told me how he searches for her every night on the internet. I
was shocked. No one told me my child might feel this way. This friend
of mine grew up in a wonderful family and he probably never told his
adoptive parents how he felt. He wouldn't have told me, either, if
he had known my story!
I think if more women had the support of knowing that many mothers
keep a child conceived in rape and love them very much that these
mothers would not have to suffer from losing their child.
I was able to provide such information to one mother and grandmother
who were considering relinquishment. Once they thought about it for
a while, the mother, with the full support of the grandmother, was
able keep her son. The grandmother reported that the mother "laughed
and cried and stopped feeling so sick from her pregnancy". They
reported back several months after the baby was born and were still
very happy about keeping him although of course they still had to
deal with people's questions. Instead of having strangers for his
mother and father, their child has his real mother and a whole family
to love him.
I know my story is not your story.
But people should know that there are more alternatives than abortion
and adoption, even in the case of rape. If people were provided a
lot more information, they could make a truly informed decision.
If you want to, you can write to me at lafrisch1@mchsi.com.
Laurie Frisch
Becky Sherrin | @
I am looking for my birthmother. I was born July 9, 1969 in Corsicana,
Texas at Navarro Memorial Hospital. I was born at 4:10 pm. I was told
that my birthmother was 16 years old and my birthfather was in the
navy? It was a private adoption by lawyer Johnny Chirafis of Corsicana,
the adoption papers were signed by Judge Sewell of Navarro County.
My adoptive parents are Joe and Janice Atkeisson of Corsicana. Please
respond if you have any information. - 15 October 2003 -
CORSICANA, TEXAS - NAVARRO COUNTY
grecia | @
i am 15yrs old and i am doing a school essay for speech class and
we had to choose our own topic and i picked adoption and the reasons
not to give your children up for adoption. and let me tell you if
there was anyone in that school who would ever give their child up
for adoption i think i might have changed their minds and i know i
wont give my child up for adoption if i ever have one. - 14 October
2003 - pasadena, tx , usa
Webmistress comments: - Use of the term "give up"
implies free will or choice. This does not accurately describe what
actually occurs when a mother loses her newborn to adoption. The coercive
forces involved and manipulative tactics used, and the utterly deceptive
misinformation given to unsupported mothers - by parents, clergy,
social workers, doctors, lawyers - precludes a free or informed "decision".
Only powerful external forces can bring about the tragic separation
of a mother from her newborn. If society would realize and acknowledge
this truth, things would have to change (in a society with any conscience,
that is). There are powerful forces in government and the private
sector (including those who have adopted or are waiting to adopt,
and the agencies they're involved with) who do not want this to change.
Until it does, a percentage of vulnerable mothers and their babies
will continue to suffer. I applaud you for looking into this subject
and speaking out on it. All the best to you on your pursuit of the
truth and getting it out there... your words can make a difference
and keep a family together!
Laurie Dunfield-Baker | @
| url
I am an adoptee reunited with my family, thank God. We lost each other
when I was 13 months old. I never knew how much pain they felt until
we were reunited. I'm so glad we're back together.
I'm currently appealing the CA Superior Court's decision to NOT give
me my original birth certificate, even though my family is intact
once more.
I have a petition up and am asking for signatures to support my efforts.
The URL is below, or you can access it from my website, Unseal Records.
http://www.petitiononline.com/dunfield/petition.
tml - 13 October 2003 - Sacramento, CA
wendy | @
I was a 15 year old battered wife of three beautiful children. I was
the bread winner of the family and worked all the time. My perental
rights were terminated because of my ex husband that Physically, mentally,
and sexually abused my children. The courts said I allowed everything
to happen because I left them home with him when I worked and did
not have any idea of what was going on. My 4 yr old was burnt while
in his care and thats when my night mare began. I tryed to explain
he was abusive and I was scared to death of him. He would threated
to kill my whole family if I ever left. Needless to say I had no contack
with my family for 10 years. The court did not believe I was abused
by him even after my 10 year old got on the stand and told them differen.
In Aug of 2002 he was shot and killed by Amarillo Police for trying
to drive off in a cop car and he grabed there gun in the car and aimed
to shoot the police but was shot first. Just a nother reason to prove
he was what I said but they would not believe me and I allowed everything
to happen. Now hes dead and got the easy way out and here im lost
without my 3 children. Go figure the children were given to the perpertraters
mother they live in Alaska and I in Michigan. I did call for my daughtors
14th birthday to find out she was and has been in a hosptil in Utah.
She will return back to her alaska home with her Grandma in the spring.
I was told she could start calling me then but only time will tell.
One of my children were too old We will all reunite someday!!!! The
system is so unfair. There is reunited the family that they say they
work so hard to do its BULL!!!! Good luck to every one Ive walked
in your foot prints and I know the pain of loss of a child or children!!
- 09 October 2003 - Michigan
david jenkins/miss amanda turner-edwards | @
we have jus read few of your stories on this web site and would like
to say tha as parents still within the court system fighting for our
two babies.if you can be of any help to myself and girlfriend then
pls can u contact me at welshboy2004@msn.com - 07 October 2003
- south wales uk
JAMES GOOD | @
| url
Hello,
I would like to tell you about a women that helped me find my natural
mother, I had been searching for her for 17 years until I ws referred
to a women named Jennifer, She helped me find my mother in less the
a day..Her website http://givenright.com and her number 253-529-8383
I hope this helps you, let me know..
James - 05 October 2003
Michelle | @
I am an adoptee (who has traced my natural mother) working for a TV
production company in UK. We are doing a documentary on birth/natural
mothers and would like to hear from any birth mother who has recently
traced their son/daughter. If you live in the UK and would like to
take part you can ring the office on: 0208 8775625 - 29 September
2003 - London, UK
Deborah Prince | @
I am searching for my birthfamily. I was born March 28,1968
in Biddeford, Maine through St. Andre's Home(Catholic Charities).
I am disgusted that I had to pay $75 to find out that my great-grandfather
was a diabetic! This information was never disclosed to my adopters.
The written non-id does not match the verbal non-id given to the adopters
when I was sold to them. My relationship with my adopters was strained
to say the least.They began to resent me once I got older and it became
very evident that they had not adopted their own biological substitute
baby; they purchased someone else's child! I did not resemble either
one of them emotionally, cognitively, physically,and certainly not
medically! Any natural mother who stayed at
St. Andre's Home, I would like to hear of your experience there. Who
knows, maybe you knew my mom? She has been described to me as a tall
red/reddish blonde woman in her thirties who played piano. My father
has been described as Indian (from India). Although who knows, this
could be a lie as well. - 23 September 2003 - Austin,Texas
jennifer | @
I placed my little girl with my aunt and uncle. They could not have
a child, I thought and was told that i could see her when ever I wanted.
Well they have broke there promise to me and to the birthfathers family
and to my mother side of the family. They have become very protective
of her. I was told Josie would know from the start that I was her
real mother and my now husband was her father. Well they are hateful,
they used to eat at a certain restant in town until my husband stared
to work there, they no longer eat there. If i do get to see her I
am watched like a hawk. If she coos or even does a slight movement
they jerk her out of my arms. At our wedding they did not want my
husbands mother to spend time with her at all and said that was not
her grandmother and never will be. They said that in front of my mothers
family ( Aunt and uncle are on father side of family) MY mother told
them how ungrateful they were and said that i will always be her mother
and theres nothing they can do. MY fathers side of the family supported
the decision to place her with my and and uncle. that It was gods
way and that they would always be grateful i that i was doing such
a wonderful thing. Well NO one from my father side offered support
after the fact. If i could do it all over i would keep her. MY husband
and I are have a 2 child due in 3 weeks we can't wait. I have not
told anyone on my fathers side. i bare tons of anger toward those
people. thanks for letting let this out. - 15 September 2003
- ga
DEBRA PINNER DICKINSON | @
ISO BIRTH DAUGHTERS MICHELLE LYNN BURNETT STACY ANN BURNETT AND REBECCA
LYNN BURNETT BORN IN ORLANDO FLA ORANGE MEMORIAL HOSPITAL. D.O.B.
4-30-73 6-17-75 9-8-76 MY DAUGHTERS WERE MY HEART AND ALWAY'S WILL
BE. THEIR GRANDFATHER AND STEP GRANDMOTHER KEPT THREATING ME AND TELLING
ME THAT IF I DIDN'T LET THEM ADOPT THE GIRLS AND WE WENT TO COURT
AND THEY WON THAT I WOULD NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN. I BELIEVED THEM BECAUSE
THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE CHRISTIANS I WAS YOUNG AND HAD NO LEGAL COUNSEL
BUT ALL THEY DID WAS LIE TO ME AND MY BABY'S THEN AFTER YEARS OF SEARCHING
FOR THEM AFTER THEY MOVED THEM OUT OF THE STATE OF FLORIDA THEY WERE
TAKEN AWAY FROM THEM AND PLACED IN THE CHURCH OF GOD HOME FOR CHILDREN
IN SEIVERSVILLE TENN WHERE THEY MADE MY OLDEST DAUGHTER WHO I FOUND
OUT FROM SOME FRIENDS AT THE SANFORD CHURCH OF GOD PUT HER BABY UP
FOR ADOPTION. I GOT THE PHONE NUMBER TO THE HOME IN TENN AND ALL THEY
WOULD TELL ME WAS THAT MY GRANDBABY WAS PUT UP FOR ADOPTION AND THAT
MY GIRLS WERE ALL TOGETHER.THAT WAS 15YRS AGO AND I'M STILL SEARCHING.
THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS ME GOING IS MY FAITH IN THE LORD THAT SOMDAY
WE WILL BE REUNITED AND THAT THEY WILL KNOW THAT I HAVE NEVER STOPPED
LOVING THEM OR SEARCHING FOR THEM AND THAT I WISH I COULD TAKE AWAY
ALL THE PAIN THAT THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGH. ESPECIALLY SINCE A LOT OF
THAT PAIN WAS FROM THEIR DADS DAD AND THEIR STEP GRAND MOTHER. BUT
I KNOW THAT MY OLDEST WAS TREATED THE WORST FROM EVERYTHING THAT I
HAVE BEEN ABLE TO FIND OUT. I ALSO KNOW THAT SHE WAS ANGRY BECAUSE
SHE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHY SOMEONE WASN'T SEARCHING FOR THEM BUT I
WAS.AND I WILL ALWAY'S CONTINUE MY SEARCH UNTIL THE DAY THAT I TAKE
MY LAST BREATH. BECAUSE MY HEART HAS BEEN BROKEN AND WILL NEVER BE
WHOLE AGAIN UNTIL I FIND MY DAUGHTERS. I LOVE YOU MY BABY'S EVEN THOUGH
YOUR NOT BABIES ANYMORE YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY BABIES. FROM YOUR BIRTHMOTHER
WHO LOVED EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU FROM THE TIME YOU WERE BORN. GOD
BLESS YOU ALWAY'S I PRAY FOR THE LORD TO KEEP ANGELS AROUND YOU AND
TO KEEP YOU SAFE IN HIS LOVING CARE. LOVE ALWAY'S DEBRA PINNER DICKINSON
- 14 September 2003 - ORLANDO FLA
Grandmother Jackie | @
| url
I am searching for my granddaughter who was adopted at birth without
our knowledge or consent. The pregnancy and birth of my granddaughter
was kept a secret and lied about for eight years. The birth mother
was 16 and my son was 17 years old. We did not receive any legal notice
informing us of the biological mother's or her parent's intent to
place the baby for adoption. Even though, the birth mother and her
family knew our home telephone number and how to get in touch with
us. We found out about my granddaughter and the adoption when she
was 8 years old. Since that time we have been searching for her.
My children and grandchildren are my love and my life. Family is everything
to me. However, we are missing one lovely little treasure! There is
a need to know about my granddaughter, to find the missing piece of
our family that tugs at my heart daily, to let her know that we truly
love her; and, UNDER NO! Circumstances my granddaughter would have
been given up for adoption; she would have been raised by paternal
biological family. I am angry at those who felt separating my granddaughter
from paternal biological family was an acceptable solution. I am angry
at the injustice committed against my family; and, the years we missed.
OUR MISSION: To claim our child; something the birth mother and her
family did not give us the opportunity to do.
'In all of us there is a hunger, marrow deep, to know our heritage,
to know who we are, and where we have come from. Without this enriching
knowledge, there is a hollow yearning, no matter what our attainments
in life; there is a most disquieting loneliness.'
.....Alex Haley - 10 September 2003 - Oklahoma USA
Webmistress comments: - Hello: I am sorry about the
loss of your beloved granddaughter to adoption. No doubt, this has
caused great sorrow for you and your son. No doubt, this has also
caused immeasurable suffering and grief for the child's mother as
well. We need more loving grandmothers in our society who are willing
to step in and support their sons and their daughters, while expecting,
otherwise someone else will step in. Tragically, in too many cases,
someone has stepped in to impose their own will and agenda upon the
unmarried mother at a vulnerable time. It is unlikely that your granddaughter's
mother, at age 16, came up with this idea on her own. Adoption is
always a collusion between family (parents), church, social or adoption
agency, and state. If your son was not served notice of the pending
adoption, his paternal rights were violated - one of many of the gross
violations and injustices which have been allowed in adoption practice
for decades. I wish you all the best in finding your granddaughter.
I would like to leave you with this quote: "The giver is called
the birth mother or biological mother or natural mother. These terms
cloud the fact that a mother who 'gave up' her child was authoritatively
deceived at a vulnerable moment by her entire support system and the
professionals who were supposed to serve her." - Dr. William
Troxler, Capital College, 2000.
Laura | @
I was 21 in 1982 when my hand was forced to sign those awful papres,
depriving me of my daughter, and my daughter of the one person who
truly 'knew' her, loved, her, and wanted her. My boyfriend at the
time put tremendous pressure on me, going as far as to threaten my
life! The agency i went through provided me with a 'counselor', but
about all she did was push 'adoption, adoption, adoption' on me, using
subtle and not-so-subtle language to coerce me to sign her away for
their infertile clients, who evidently felt they were entitled to
raise somebody else's baby. I have missed her every day, cried for
her, longed to see her and hold her. She is 21 now, and I located
her a couple of months ago, but our 'reunion' is not progressing very
well. I think her adopters are disappointed that I am a loving, intelligent,
interesting person, not the crack whore they were probably hoping
she's encounter. I continue to pray that she and I can reconnect someday,
and that she will come to realize how much I love her. - 07 September
2003 - Ohio
S. Cameron | @
Hello. I am wondering if anyone is searching for a son given up soon
after birth. His name at birth was RODERICK WAYNE AHO born Dec. 25/1968
at Sarnia; General Hospital. I think his mother might be originally
from Hawaii descent; possibly. I was told his mother was young (possibly
17) and the decision was made for adoption. My adopted brother has
held no hard feelings for his birthfamily as he was always told the
truth thru our parents right from a young age. If his birthfamily
wishes info please contact us. Every Christmas must be hard to deal
with -- mothers can never forget-- no matter how young. - 07 September
2003 - Sarnia; Ontario; Canada
Marjorie Gomez | @
| url
I to am amother who has given up her chiled I gave two up . In the
early 60ties . And i can feel the pain that all have gone through
. All tho My daughter found me after 32 years . and we love each other
dearly . I still feel cheated and left out . She is beautifull and
sweet . and how much we are alike . I also have a Son out there some
where I have never seen . and just like all I was told all these things
and gave my babies away because I didn't feel I could do a good job
of raising them . Because every one told me so . Yes yes i know your
pain and to day I'm scared as heck about meeting my son. Even tho
I want to somehow I feel i will be unworthy . i have closed my mind
and hidden my secret and some i told but others i would not . Whats
the use they really don't care except to put a opinion in of there
own . Any way I found this through Adoptiees . Group . Hope I can
be a part of this . and put my two cents in . I have never been abel
to do that . Thanks . Love all of us Moms real Moms . Cause we are
you know . But why do I feel that I'm not most the time . - 06
September 2003 - Oregon
Kate Absher | @
ADOPTION FRAUD IN ALABAMA!
I was promised open adoption. None of the promises kept. Adopters
seperated when my child was 6 months old. Divorced at one year.
Now last week I discover, that in the divorce complaint it states
that the adopter father was a prescription drug abuser and under the
care of a psychiatrist for a number of years.
They lied to the homestudy, they lied to me, and no lawyer will take
my case unless I come up with 15-20 thousand dollars and I don't have
that. No money, no justice.
I feel as if my guts are bieng ripped out. If anyone knows someone
who has money and a heart for justice. contact me at katieabsher@yahoo.com.
Thank you! This could be a landmark case that will expose the industry,
the lengths adopters go to and finally let them know we aren't all
dumb 'birth'mothers who can't fight back when WE have a 'WRONGFUL
ADOPTION'. - 06 September 2003 - Alabama
Karen L | @
My heart breaks as I read these stories. I hope those so brutally
effected by adoption finally find some peace....in the meantime I
am glad for this site! - 01 September 2003 - St. Louis
EMMA | @
I am writing a fictional book and this involves a character who is
struggling to come to terms with having her baby taken away from her
for adoption. She was forced to do so by her parents and 15 years
later is finding it hard to cope with every day life. I obviously
need to treat this issue with sensitivity and care and also need to
understand the legal inplications. I would be grateful if anyone has
information for me on the proccesses employed legally or illegally
in the UK.
I would also wish all of you on reading your stories a peace of mind
and a true love that you deserve.
Good Luck to anyone still searching! - 25 August 2003 -
British, now living in Spain.
Diane | @
There used to be an article here called 'Why won't my mother meet
me. Can no longer locate it. Would you see if you can add it back
as it is an excellent artice. I would often refer adoptees here to
read it. - 14 August 2003 - Massa chusetts
Webmistress comments: - It is still here. In the left
hand column, click on: The Truth About Adoption, and scroll down to
article #26.
juliette j hingle, born baby wilson | @
hello, I was born june 19th 1971, at broward county general in ft.lauderdale
fl. I have searching for my real mother for years and I am starting
to loose hope, I have realised that there are many others like me
with a big hole in their hearts, on both sides, I just want to know
my mothers and fathers and brothers, I just want to say I love you
and I always have, I can understand why, but I have a hard time the
silence of my adoption parents, all is just a lie, nothing is valid
in what I am supposed to know, I think that your site is wonderfull
and feel better in reding some of the stories, much love to the birthmoms,
as well as other adoptees, someday this money machine will stop, and
the truth will come out, love julia - 07 August 2003 - france
Mark Sephton
Sue Sephton/ Holt,
Please get in touch with the West Midlands Post Adoption Service,
Digbeth, Birmingham, UK, Regarding Mark, 27th May 1976, Coventry.
- 02 August 2003 - Coventry UK
leigh t | @
as a reunited adoptee I abhor the lies I had to sift through to obtain
what my neighbour can obtain with a $15 check to NYC. My first mother
placed me in foster care while attempting to find a home for us. She
was not allowed to see me; Catholic Charities was aware of her intention
not to relinquish and was keeping notes on how I was abandoned. She
signed the papers when I was 2.5 mos old when her last oppurtunity
for a home for us fell thru-she was not offered any assistance or
guidance by CC. Years later- I was told by CC that my mother 'intentionally
got pregnant to prove that she could bear a child but did not intend
to keep it'- the opening line on my non-ident. My first mother had
one picture she demanded from CC while I was in foster care and made
100 copies of it-one stood in a group of pics with my sibs when I
found her after 23 years. My records have now been destroyed by a
fire (as have tens of thousand of others of adoptees' over 3 decades)
and cannot obtain anything else. Who has the right to keep a secret
file on me-or you- and have it so loosely protected from an arsonist
(could it be an adoptive parent?) but paddlocked from me? - 29
July 2003 - NY
lauren
reading this is all very overwhelming. I surrendered my son almost
two years ago to what has so far remained an open private adoption.
the adoptive parents have remained in contact and kind to me. the
same common history led up to my decision, abandonment by the father
and by my familly, coercsion, the idea that it would be selfish and
wrong for me to keep him, that i wasn't good enough, that I couldn't
support him. I never went to a home, but I know that they still exist.
I two was told that 'adoption is a gift of love' and I too know that
is one of the biggest lies that I was ever told. It's been two years
and this is the first time I've heard the stories of other birth mothers.
It is amazing to me that the same love plat form is still used. and
its amazing to me that the same patterns still persist. - 27 July
2003 - North Carolina
Heather Carlini CMH | @
| url
Hi Everyone. I am doing some research into the imprints from adoption
for both biological mothers and adoptees. If anyone would like to
participate in my research please contact me and I will send you a
questionnaire.
Also I am looking for any biological moms who experienced the use
of 'Twilight Sleep' (anesthetic) during childbirth years ago. I am
researching the long-term effects of this drug as it applies to imprints.
If anyone would like to participate in my research please contact
me at healthyliving@pacificcoast.net
For those that don't know me, I am a reunited natural mother and a
certified medical hypnotherapist working in regressive therapy.
Thanks, Heather Carlini
and Bryony... please contact me... I lost your email address - 12
July 2003 - Canada
Michael Land | @
My sister and I were both adopted by the same lady in GA. I was born
in 1958 and her in 1959. My adopted mother never liked us knowing
anything too much about our birth mother. Supposably we have the same
one but different fathers. All I have is a first and last maiden name,
and maybe a general location of where she lived when we were adopted.
I'm not really computer smart so ANY directions I could be pushed
in would help. - 09 July 2003
deborah hooker | @
As one who is always interested in how language is altered to alter
perceptions (or try to), I wanted to thank Diane for writing her wonderful
article. I learned much from it. Also, if anyone knows how I can get
in touch with Tricia Shore, who has written for this site, I'd appreciate
the lead. She's written other pieces that I wanted to tell her that
I enjoyed. Thanks-- - 02 July 2003 - Raleigh, NC
Heather Carlini CMH | @
| url
Hello everyone. This summer I am compiling a book on reunion problems
and part of the book has a question and answer format. I am asking
natural mothers and adoptees who have experienced reunion problems
to submit any questions they would like addressed in the book. In
this book I am taking a new approach by looking at the imprints left
from the experience of adoption loss and how we can change them. Please
send any input to me at healthyliving@pacificcoast.net
thanks
Heather Carlini/ Canada - 28 June 2003 - Canada
Kathleen Stokes | @
I have recived papers from Indiana Department of family
and childern on my son that was adopted out.Born in Indiana
08-20-1963 at Good Samartian Hospital,Vincennes Indiana.
Alot of papers i know nothing about can anyone help me?
Tells me i can petition the probate court for adoption records.Does
anyone have any information on how to go about this? My name at time
of birth was Kathleen Bowman,i was only 14 at the time was tricked
into giving son up, did not understand what i was signing at the time.Thank
You Kay - 20 June 2003 - usa
Melva | @
For all of the adoprees out there. Do NOT GIVE UP HOPE. My Dad was
born in 1925 and adopted when he was 6 days old. He was aware of this
but all of his life he wanted to find his B family. In July 2002 he
spoke with his only living B sister. In October 2002 Aunt Betty, her
daughter, her son his wife, and 2 of Dads nieces came to Alberta to
meet Dad. Aunt Betty did not know that Dad even existed. Dad always
thought that he was the youngest. It turns out that he was the oldest
and then Aunt Betty. Dads B parents never said anything about him
to Aunt Betty or Dads brother and other sister (both gone now). Dads
brother Alexander passed away a year before Dad found Aunt Betty.
That is his biggest regret, that he never got to meet his brother.
Dad was raised as an omly child by a good family but he always said
that it was lonley and that he knew that he had a brother and other
famly out there somewhere. He was born Bruce Hodgins in Calgary Alberta
but his B parents and family were all from Lucan Ontario. After he
was born they returned to Lucan where they passed away in the 80's.
They never mentioned him to anyone and we can find no connection to
his A parents although we all feel that there is one. Dad would like
so much to go to Lucan, unfortunatly his health will probably prevent
that. From an only child to a family of many. God is good. Have hope
and keep the faith. - 19 June 2003 - Red Deer Alberta
Sally Howard | @
My new book is out titled, Finding Me In a Paper Bag: Searching for
Both Sides Now. Knowing each person sees events in life through their
own eyes, my story is just that, ‘my’ story. It is what it was like
for me, being an adoptee: one having no birthday, no nationality,
and no paper trail to start a search, living my life as a foundling.
It will show what ‘Safe Haven” babies will face being alive but unknown.
It will also show the emotional aftermath of giving away an only daughter
to strangers, a tightly held secret for over thirty-five years.
While my story is about adoption and relinquishment, it is also for
anyone carrying the heavy load of a secret. I hope the research I
did and the recording of my honest feelings will help other to not
be afraid to face their fears, to know that on the other side of those
paralyzing apprehensions is completeness, truth and most times, joy.
Carol Schaefer, author of The Other Mother, Mary, Queen of Scots and
Play-write, The Sacred Virgin states: “Left as an infant in a brown
paper bag on a farmer’s porch and later, having to surrender her baby
daughter after being raped, the many layers of Sally Howard’s powerful
and inspiring story addresses: baby abandonment laws, rape, the results
of an unsuccessful search and the great mystery that drives us to
discover our origins. As Howard discovers ‘me’ in the process, she
generously helps the reader along with their own journey’s.”
If you wish to order my book please send a check in the amount of
$19.95 plus $2.50 for shipping and handling to:
Sally Howard
P.O. Box 383
San Juan Capistrano, CA 92693
Or you can purchase it on Ebay or Amazon auctions
Thanking you in advance,
Sally - 17 June 2003 - California
Jessica | @
| url
I am a reunited adoptee since 1999. Unfortunately, my birthmother
and I no longer speak to one another. I believe much of the problems
between us began because of the adoption industry. When I was born,
she was 16. Her mother had already set up a private adoption and forced
her to surrender me. In most cases, immediatley after birth a child
is handed to their mother to be held even if only for a few moments.
I was carried away and they made sure she never saw me. The hospital
did not even allow her to stay on the maternity ward for fear she
would go to the nursery and see me! And of course, it did not help
matters that the card in my crib reading 'I'M A GIRL' was conveniently
left blank where a name should have been. (It was given to my ADOPTIVE
MOTHER as a 'souvenier'!) My birth mother was not even told if I was
male or female. She eventually convinced an orderly to find out for
her. Life for my birthmother did go on, but she was never allowed
to speak of me. If anyone ever mentioned it, I had to be referred
to as 'the trouble'. Her mother drilled it into her head that I was
not her child. And now, all these years later, we can't even have
have a fnctioning relationship because her mother branded her so harshly.
We've tried... but there is so much she just can't (or won't) talk
about. And yes, even after having been reunited with her AND her mother...
her mother still HATES me and wants nothing to do with me. This is
so sad... and sometimes I wish my birthmother had told her mother
about me sooner. Why? Because her mother really wanted her to have
an abortion, but my b-mom was too far along. At least if she had the
abortion, I would not be enduring hell on earth now. - 17 June
2003 - New Jersey
Melanie Rowell | @
I am an adoptee searching for her first mother. I was born 6 July
1970. I was told she did not want to give me up and tried hard to
find a way to keep me. PLEASE if you read this, I would love to talk
to you! I was born Buffy Jan in Lynchburg, VA. My first mother stayed
at the Florence Crittenden home there. - 15 June 2003 -
Georgia
Karen | @ | url
I'm single, 41 years old and unexpectedly pregnant. My due date is
October 3, 2003. I have decided to keep my baby and raise it on my
own without any financial support or any type of assistance from the
father. I've been looking for a site with a support group for my situation
and I haven't been able to find one. I just hope I've made the right
decision. - 12 June 2003 - Florida
Katryna
I also wanted to add to my other message (server said it was too long)
that maybe you should lobby to eliminate adoption fees. I hear that
in England, private adoption is illegal and all adoptions must be
performed by the state. With no profit, there is no reason to coerce
mothers into giving up their children. The abused and neglected children
will be adopted and voluntary adoptions will happen, but for the most
part, moms who want to keep their babies will keep them. - 31 May
2003
Bonita Hughes | url
I am in Talk City Chat. Since disclosing the loss of my daughter to
adoption and the abuses that go on in chat {just the general abuse
BIG time] I have been banned from sites, abused and disrespected,
and certainly as a First Mother. I will put the link to Talk City
below. When there visit a site called Disinformation and look for
a thread 'hi, I am bonita'. Also look for a thread on this site titled
on Nurture vs Nature. Please participate if you like. Also visit a
site called Flirt and see a special folder thay made for me called
'for asshole like Layla'. Yes, the abuse of First Mothers still continues.
- 30 May 2003
Angela Sparks | @
| url
I lost my 4 children though the adoption process. I was young, divorced
and received no support. I got no positive effort from the system
to meet the goals set before me to keep my kids. My story can be read
at:
http://www.geocities.com/chynasparks
- 24 May 2003 - Lot my kids in California, now reside in
Texas
jamie | @
i am researching adoption for school and came acrros this website.
i think that all the women who contributed to the site are amazing
and i really feel for them.
i havent been touched by adoption personally but until i read the
articles in this webstie i never really new what it was like.
i hope you find peace soon.
xoxo - 20 May 2003 - australia
Karissa Elizabeth Ann Lowell | @ | url
I am both a birth'mom' and an adult adoptee. My second ex and I lost
our daughter, and I say this, because she was adopted by her adoptive
parents when she was five years old, and all three of us were victims
of Va CPS agency which ultimately is responsible for destroying our
family and our marriage.
I am now an family rights activist, and advocate for the natural family
unless it can be proven absolutely that either 'abuse or neglect'
has been done to a child.
Either way, Adoption or Abortion is not a viable solution.
Children belong with their natural parents, and not parents the state
or adoption agencies think that are better suited to have care, custody,
and control of a child.
God Bless! - 13 May 2003 - Chicago IL USA
Kim Diane Needham | @
I had a baby girl on May 5th 1974, I named her Kelly Needham, she
was born at the Chatham General, she was later named Jennifer Levasseur,
I am looking for you, and i have a friend helping me, so if anyone
knows my 'real' daughter, please contact Rita at maness_rita@hotmail.com please attention
Kim Needham (first mother) - 08 May 2003 - Sarnia, Ontario
Anna Brown | @
| url
I have just found your site and it is very interesting, I lost my
son to adoption in Ireland in 1981,I was in a mother and baby hell
hole in ireland run by catholic nuns (magdeline laundry) for whom
the word compassion was not in their dictionary I was reunited with
my son on nov 13 2000 in Dublin and we have been in contact ever since.......I
will bookmark your page and come back often
Anna Brown - 03 May 2003 - From Ireland but now living in
the UK
Nancy | @
I was placed for adoption at birth, and placed a child for open-adoption.
Many years later I had found my adoption papers, and found out my
real last name and area, that was fine, at that time I was fine with
just that.
Many years later, a lady came back from vacation, and to my amazement
she KNEW who I was, and offered me my natural mother's number!! Ever
since my natural mother and I have been great friends!
I also had a son I had to give up for adoption, this was an open adoption.
The lady always said, that if you ever want 'our' son back, I will
give him back, even though It would hurt. I said that I promise that
I would never put you through that.
Since 'our' son is on his own, I did come up with enough, finally,
to make a surprise vistit!! It was a week after his 19th Birthday!!
I didn't know what to say, but, said,
'I don't know if you'll remember me,' to my amazement, he
said Nancy, the next word out of his mouth was very unexpected, 'MOM'.
Both of us were very excited, and he did not realize that I knew where
he was, what he was doing etc. He asked me if I was visiting someone,
in that area, I said, no, I just came to see you!! He could not believe
that I went that far, just to see him!! He even said that he was talking
about me with his girlfriend, last week!!
We are all so-so proud of him!!
We have been keeping in close contact since!
I know all situations, don't turn out like this, but my
adice, about open adoptions, is to have everything documented, signed,
and made legal. I was just lucky that
this family kept their end of the deal, and I kept mine!! - 27
April 2003 - PEI, Canada
Laurie Jean Dunfield-Baker | @ | url
I am a reunited adoptee, so happy to be back with my family. The people
who adopted me told me my parents were bad and abused me. Later, I
found out through a social worker at the adoption agency what really
happened. My father concurred with the papers the social worker gave
me. I've never told him what the adopters told me. The adopters told
me the adoption agency told them I was abused. All I know is that
the truth was hidden somewhere along the line.
Adoption is about lies.
Nothing positive comes out of lies.
I have my family back and am glad for this.
By the way, Laurie Jean Dunfield is my birth name, not my adoptive
name. I had to pay California nearly $300.00 to get it back! See my
website (it links to this one.) - 20 April 2003 - Sacramento,
CA
Edith | @
In 1939, when my mother was pregnant with me, her father and stepmother
went to Buffalo and adopted one of Father Baker's babies. My aunt
Carole was born in August, 1939--I was born in January, 1940. Although
I was an adult when it was pointed out to me, it it not hard to figure
out what was going on! When I was 7, my mother walked out and I never
saw her or her parents--or my aunt-- again. Obviously, they were an
odd bunch. I wonder what happened to Carole; I wonder if she grew
up to be as happy as I. She would be 63, now. I wonder.... - 30
March 2003 - Erie, PA
andrea
i am the 17 year old mother of my darling little girl melissa who
is 2 1/2 (3 in july). i cannot and have never been able to imagine
life without her. i am an excellent mother and she always has, is,
and will be a happy, productive, and well adjusted child. i support
all of the birth mothers who are looking for their children after
being forced to place them for adoption some odd years ago and i (just
like all of you) knew that i wanted to keep my child and be a mother
when i found out i was pregnant at the age of fourteen. the day my
daughter was born was the happiest day of my entire life- she is EVERYTHING
to me. i want to encourage all unmarried teenage girls or women out
there who may be pregnant to keep and raise your child like i did-
there is no greater job on this earth than being a parent. and once
again, i want to say that i fully support and understand the feelings
of the birthmothers who have shared their stories on this site.
love always,
andrea (and melissa) - 25 March 2003 - utah
Sharn | @
I am deeply moved by your stories. I am currently researching the
effect of losing a baby to adoption. I want to learn more..so if there
are any mothers in Australia who are prepared to tell their story
or answer questions about losing your baby, i would love to hear from
you. Your stories will remain confidential and are strictly for interest
research. I apprecialte any form of information. - 19 March 2003
- Australia
Therese Marie Mcclelland | @
I have decided to search for my birthmother. I only know I was born
in Fort Wayne, Indiana June 30, 1969 at Parkview Hospital by a 16
year old girl from a small town in Ohio. I need help searching, I've
never searched before and this is new to me being on a computer and
all. Please somebody help or send me info or where to begin. Maybe
by typing a date and place of bith? How many 16 year olds gave birth
on June 30, 1969 at Parkview Hospital in Fort Wayne, Indiana? I'm
sure not too many!!!! Please help (502) 4899782 Louisville, Ky - 19
March 2003
Laura | @
I am going after catholic charities - my scarlett letter is off- anyone
want to join in, let me know. Their toast - will tell all, but not
on site. If interested let us get in touch. - 18 March 2003
- Oakton
Linda webber | @ | url
Anyone think coercion and lies are a thing of the past? Please judge
for yourself.. If I told you to check out this site Birthmother.org
what might you think it could be? Perhaps a support site for Moms
that have lost their children to open? Nope this is what it really
is http://www.birthmother.org/ ....For birthmothers
considering adoption. This is another case of the adoption industry's
attempt at bringing in new pregnant moms.
It always gets me too when sites like these say they offer 'free'
services to pregnant Moms. . Of course their coercion is 'free' to
the Moms, they will recoup their 'losses' from the Prospective adoptive
parents.If it looks like a duck, waddles like a duck, quacks like
a duck it probably is a duck .Can someone please tell me why this
isn't baby selling?By the way I am enclosing my e-mail to them and
their reply to me...in truth and love, Linda (reunited Mom of Hope
Marie, lost to adoption in 69 and found in love 2-22-97
Subj: hello
Date: 3/10/2003 8:36:06 AM Pacific Standard Time
From: MommaL3
To: info@abcadoptions.com
Hello,
I really find your site unsettling . By the name of the site it appears
that it might be a support group for Moms that have lost their children
to adoption. It is not until one clicks onto your site that it becomes
apparent it is really a site for prospective adoptive parents in hopes
of linking up with a pregnant woman. In truth a birthmother is not
a birthmother until the adoption becomes finalized. This site appears
deceptive and without integrity in your approach to bring in pregnant
Women. It would be more honest to call it a prospective adoptive parents
site. Truly, Linda Webber
AND THEIR REPLY:I am sorry that our site is unsettling for you. We
do offer information for Birthmothers-to-be, adopting parents and
adoption professionals; however, we are not a support group for Moms
that have lost their children, but rather a site for adopting parents
interested in finding a birthmother-to-be.Birthmother is a quick expression
accepted in the adoption field for simplistics and not a technical
word that is fully defined each time it is used. For example, a white
person is not really a white person, but a Caucasian, etc. I suggest
you find a site that suits your needs, there should be plenty of them.
Best wishes,www.abcadoptions.com
- 17 March 2003 - northern calif.
Laura Beall | @
I am a 46 year old birth mother. Went thru CC and guess what I found
out during my search for son. I was 16 when my son was adopted and
I had 24 months to contest the adoption if it occurred under duress,
which it had. My son's father and I wanted to marry 6 months after
my son was born and thought we couldn't get him back. I have never
in my life felt to betrayed and angry. Found this out monday while
reading adoption statutes for 1972 in Virginia for my search. CC says,
oh well. Their toast. Laura Beall (thanks for letting me share this,
I really needed to without my scarlett letter) - 14 March 2003
- oakton, virginia
Mary Beth
Thank you for this wonderful site. I am glad to see so many people
that are sharing their stories and information. I am an adoptee in
reunion. I am glad that truthful information was available to me before
reunion so I could prepare. My beliefs before preparation were not
correct. I bought into all the things I was told. Keep up the good
work with this site. Let's all help each other. - 14 March 2003
- USA
Heather Webb | @
I put my first son up for adoption 12 years ago. This was thru an
agency that is still operating out of San Antonio TX. It was supposed
to be a 'semi-open' adoption. I was to recieve, at minimum, an annual
photograph of my child. In the first year of his life, recieved two
very nice letters & two sets of photos from the adoptive parents,
whose names are Bob and Marianne. After that, they never sent me anything,
ever again. I have been pleading with the adoption agency for over
a decade to do something, to correct this situation, but they won't
do anything. They just give me the same old run-around year after
year. I lived up to my end of the contract, and somebody should force
them to live up to their end. I mean, isn't an adoption agreement
legally binding? If they say agree to send a photo each year, don't
they have to do it? It's nothing, really, but it would give me some
measure of comfort & peace of mind. I don't know if my son's alive
or dead. Do I have any legal recourse? I can't afford to hire an attorney.
Is their some state or government agency who supervises these matters,
anyone I can contact? What was done to me was unethical in the extreme,
if not illegal. The agency misled me about what I could expect from
them and from the adoptive parents. They took advantage of my youth
and ignorance. My son's name is Ben. He'll be 13 in June. I have other
kids now, but he was my first. I think about him every day and wonder
if he's okay. I guess that's all. If anybody knows what I can do,
please let me know. - 11 March 2003 - Austin, TX, USA
Lisa Crispen | @
I tried to put my story in here, and I kept getting a message that
said it was too long. So the short of it is, my mother tricked me
into signing my son over to her for her to adopt. He is 13 now, and
wants to live with me. She found out he wants to live with me and
has now blocked all communication between us. We are both miserable.
My mother and her lawyer convinced me it was in my sons 'best interest'
to let my mother adopt him. I had no legal counsel at the time I signed
the papers. My son was stolen from me. I feel for all the mothers
out there who have had a child stolen by adoption. Its so wrong. -
04 March 2003 - West Virginia USA
alix | @
I am so amazed that I was not alone in the world!I was born 03/08(?)/1970
at st. joes hos. in tampa fl. I am F and was called Dolly at the orphonage(if
anyone worked there).My Afamily is very againsit me ever knowing the
truth.They say if she wanted me to know,she would of.Leave her alone...ect,some
really unpleasent things.But it does get worse.I was involved W/abusive
man in the mid 90's. Well I was pregnat W/# 3.I left him when the
baby was born.The childerns grandparents from the first marriage were
so d#m## nice and helpful.It started with letting the kids stay there
,to letting them take the bus(this was so I could find a bigger place,more
money,and I had my new baby.)Well,you know how the story goes.They
have a fancy lawyer,I have a baby who has to eat,they used stupid
blackmail,I was told I didn't have to go to court.I even wrote aletter
to the judge.Then they adopted them,and for a while their little brother
& I got to visit.Then two years ago I was told we could never
see or talk to them...So now I want to find my birthmother,I can only
begin to know real pain.Bless us all. - 04 March 2003 -
CA
Bonnie Hughes | @
I am a mother who had her baby stolen & sold into adoption. After
my daughter was stolen my mother refused to put me on b-control &
I had no rights, was denied b-control. I became pregnant again. Promiscuious?
Many would like to believe so. In trauma? Yes. I felt ashamed for
so long, for getting pregnant again, until I realized the impact of
what happened, the aftemath of adoption loss. I do not believe I am
the only mother who experienced this. Some had abortions & some
lost a second baby to adoption to be punished again. So I will address
this comment by Karen (Becker) Mikolainis from Milwaukee, Wisconsin
dated 08/January, 2003. Karen writes: 'It's clear that adoption is
better than abortion for the baby.' It was always about the baby Karen,
to save the baby so an adopter could adopt. It is not about the baby
but about adopters. With regard to: 'I would think that the guilt
of an abortion is equally devastating for a birth mother, no matter
what the 'abortion industry' wants people to believe.' Dear Karen,
I had an abortion after having had my baby sold into adoption. In
knowing the difference, one cannot compare adoption and abortion pain
or guilt. I feel no guilt. There is no comparsion & thinking that
abortion is equal to adoption loss & guilt does not an arguement
make. This stance is good for you as you are an adoptee & want
to adopt. Yes Karen, I agree with the following comment except 'unwed'
speaks to archaic values, your underlying personal beliefs, labeling
[single] mothers as less then by its use.: 'Perhaps giving unwed mothers
the resources to care for their children is the most compassionate
approach for mother and child. ' I mean no disrespect to you, but
you do not know. peace * bonnie - 02 March 2003 - Yukon
Territory, Canada
Bonnie Hughes | @
Hello Bry, Karen and all,
I stopped by to gather quotes for an email I am sending to a reporter
in Michigan. We are colaborating on a story to tell of the stealing
of my daughter who was sold into Closed Adoption. He is open to learning
& is going to look into legal matters for me. One being that I
went a day after signing & was told by the social worker the adoption
was final. I went back again a few days later & was told the same
thing. In Michigan I want to leave my mark; I want an apology from
the state speaking to the injustice committed against me & my
daughter in 1969/70. I met my daughter & after a reunion of 1
& 1/2 years she terminated contact, telling me she loves me but
needs to get consuling. The adopters are resistant to my 32 year old
daughter having a relationship with me. He told me, 'I paid 300$ for
her.' The male adopter was clear that she was bought & paid for,
that I should go away. The state certainly saved money by selling
her into adoption as opposed to assisting me to keep her. I know she
loves me so much it hurts because she is obligated to them, in servitude.
She said she always knew she was adopted, the neat and clean story...I
was young, loved her, wanted the best, she was chosen. In meeting
me she 'really' learned what adoption is & it hurts. I saw this
in her eyes & felt it in her heart. She told me that she always
knew their blood did not flow through her nor hers through them. This
says alot & I hope in time she gets strong enough to stand up
to them. My daughter survived adoption but not without deep wounds
& scars. I send cards, simple, just telling her I love her, letting
her know I am here. I wish the adopters no harm, although I do not
hold any respect for them in their need to own my child, but when
they pass on my daughter will truly be set free.
This is closed adoption & a truth that adopters do not like to
hear, that adoptees hold obligation & they think this is love
* peace * bonnie - 02 March 2003 - Yukon Territory, Canada
Anne Bauer | @
Thanks for being here. My story has already been told. I waited until
my son was 18 and I sent a letter to the address I believe he is living.
It was an 'open' adoption in the sense that I know where he lives
and got a picture once a year. (I am so grateful to know he is at
least outwardly in good shape, but he looks so angry in the pictures.)
The letter was delivered and not returned, but there is no contact
from him and I am coming to believe he wants none. The anger and fear
are fresh, and neither my husband nor my long-time friends understand,
though they try. I have told my daughter that I had a baby a long
time ago but he couldn't come live with me and it is very sad. That's
about all she can handle. One of my worst fears was realized - my
son doesn't want anything to do with me. Another huge fear of mine
is that my daughter will think I think children are expendable because
I 'gave' him up for adoption. Pray for us. Let's keep working together
so no young woman has to go through this. I have been successful in
helping one young woman to get her daughter back and keep her second
child without interruption, and will keep attempting to help others.
- 26 February 2003 - Montana
Linda Webber | @ | url
My Dear Baby Daughter of Mine
If only I had grabbed you and ran instead of believing that you weren't
mine
to keep
How can God place you in my womb and nurture you until you were to
be
welcomed into the world by me your mommy...why was I so weak?
and then believe the lies we weren't meant to be together
When I go to heaven can I have my baby back forever?
I promise to be a good mommy ..I will call it a blessing to wipe the
vomit
from your face and clean your little bottom...
OHHH God, why didn't I take you and run?
Why did I believe the lies of my unworthiness...how could I have believed
that we weren't meant to be..
I promise you God I will be a good mommie.. but you always knew that
didn't
you about me?
OHH please why weren't all my sisters of the earth there for us..
To welcome you into this world and bless our union forever..
.why did I believe the lies I ask..I think I know the answer... I
was
young,
scared and didn't know you and I would miss being together..Forgive
me
baby
girl...I believed the lies....
in truth and love,
Linda (reunited Mom of Hope Marie,)lost to adoption in 69 and found
in love 2-22-97 - 25 February 2003 - northern calif
Cynthia Runyon (nee Ulrich) | @ | url
I, too, am a birthmother (reunited with MY son) In 1969 I was unwed
and pregnant....and according to my father...an embarrassment (after
all what would the neighbors think?) The next call I received was
from the birthfather's attorney referring me to a maternity home.
I wanted my baby. I entered 'the Cradle' in August of 1969 where I
was 'placed' in a private household where I was told I was to care
for the family's children. Child care also consisted of washing, ironing,
cleaning, cooking and general all around maid duty.....after all,
I deserved no better. I was told my baby would be placed in a good
home with TWO parents. I was told I'd forget and go on to have children
of MY OWN. While in labor I asked the doctor for something to help
with pain. I heard a doctor and a nurse talking in the hall and the
doctor told the nurse and I QUOTE: 'she is an unwed mother...let her
hurt she deserves it' I heard my baby cry but they didn't let me see
him...I was placed in a private room...the only visitors received
were the woman who's home I had resided and the social worker from
'The Cradle' The woman who's house I lived in promptly told me how
inconveinent my timing was because she had to prepare Thanksgiving
dinner by herself. The social worker brought in my baby boy's blank
birth certificate in told me to sign it...that it would be filled
out later for his REAL parents. I had time and went to the Cradle
nursery and asked to hold my baby..They did not like this..but I held
him, kissed him, told him that I loved him....(I wanted to run with
him) They told me I'd forget (I didn't) they told me I'd get on with
my life I am now reunited....but am not united...My son has made it
perfectly clear that his adoptive parent's are his parents (They are
lovely people, Thank God) Everytime he calls his adoptive mom, mom,
in my presense I hurt so bad inside that I want to vomit I love you
Mike I always have and always will - 24 February 2003 -
Maryland now..Illinois at relinquishment
Cheryl Dunlap | @
I fight CPS. I fight for others whose children have been stolen the
system. I live for the day these bureaucrats are ran into banishment.
I am always on the computer learning about this tyranny and come across
different sites and links. i always sign guest books in support. We
and many others are working to slay the beast. There is a National
Freedom March scheduled for early June 2003. Meet June 8 in DC. We
have to expose their evil before any progress can be made. - 15
February 2003 - Bristol, VA
Kathy Caudle | @ | url
It's my opinion that natural mothers are disenfranchised. We certainly
aren't given information needed to make informed decisions concerning
ourselves and our babies. No information as such was ever given to
me. Nothing was ever said about the legal relationship between RELINQUISHMENT
and ABANDONMENT. A 1946 Missouri case, In Re Watson, established the
legal definition of relinquishment to mean abandonment. Though I'm
not listing the complete citation here this case can be found in any
law library. Reference page 2 of 'Black's Law Dictionary' can also
be made which shows the different types of adoptions. Social workers
talk in terms of voluntary or INvoluntary child placement by the mother.
Judges however make no such distinction. Such is because judges consider
every child being adopted, regardless of the circumstances described
above, to be the same and that is abandoned. Mothers need to know
this. It's the first legal information mothers need when considering
adoption, for their baby. Natural mothers who've already lost children
to adoption need to also consider that according to the law we have
no legal status. This is because the law does not consider that we,
as natural mothers, exist. Thus the law does not recognize us, because
the law does not recognize what the law considers non-existent. Until
this basid fundamental fact is understood we natural mothers will
keep losing court cases no matter how vigorously we argue Fourteenth
Amendment Due Proces clause violations. Judges never will listen to
us as natural mothers until the law legally recognizes natural mothers
as having legal status which we currently don't have because, as I've
said, the law considers we don't exist. These facts of law are basic
to all the battles that follow. Fourteenth Amendment arguments are
too broad. We need to argue specifics of the law, statutes which explicityly
discriminate against natural mothers, administrative laws which expressly
deny services to natural mothers and the like. Thank you again, for
letting me speak. Kathy Caudle, Natural Mother, Salt Lake City, Utah
- 14 February 2003 - 679 South 500 East, Salt Lake City,
UT 841052
Webmistress comments: - Hi Kathy - please email me privately
at maxine_77@hotmail.com . I want to talk
to you re First Mothers Action Group. :) - Maxine
GINA ALLEY-BOHNENKAMP | @
HI I TOO AM A HEARTBROKEN BIRTHMOTHER OF A SON WHO WAS BORN 11/22/82
IN NAPA CALIF. QUEEN OF THE VALLY HOSP. I WAS 15-16 YRS OLD AND IN
THE SYSTEM MYSELF -FOSTER HOME TO FOSTER HOME BECAUSE OF MY FATHERS
CHILD ABUSE. I DIDNT KNOW MY MOTHER UNTIL I WAS 18 YRS OLD. SO EVERY
FOSTER HOME WANTED MY SON AND MY OWN FATHER WANTED TO RAISE HIM AS
MY BROTHER. THERE WAS NO OTHER CHOICE BUT TO GIVE HIM UP . NO ONE
WAS WILLING TO HELP ME. EXCEPT FOR HIS FATHER (JOHN GIBSON) ALSO OF
NAPA HE WAS ONLY 17 THEN. JOHN AND I WERE VERY CLOSE AND HAD A GREAT
BOND, I HELD MY SON FOR THE 3 DAYS HE WAS IN THE HOSPITAL AND YES
MOM'S DO BOND QUICKLY. NOT A DAY OF HIS LIFE HAS GONE BY THAT I HAVENT
THOUGHT OF HIM AND PRAYED TO GOD HE HAS EVERYTHING HE DESERVES. I
WANT HIM TO KNOW HOW MUCH I STILL LOVE HIM NO MATTER WHO RAISED HIM
I'M HIS MOTHER BYE BIRTH I GAVE HIM LIFE AND I'M VERY PROUD TO SAY
I DID. SO U SEE ANY INFO AT ALL IS NEEDED . I DONT HAVE A CLUE WHERE
TO START. PLEASE HELP ME HES 21 NOW AND HAS 3 SISTERS I WANT AND NEED
HIM TO MEET . MY GIRLS ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE WHEN IT COMES TO JACOB
THEY KNOW SOME OF THE PAIN I'VE GONE THROUGH OVER THE YEARS. HIS FATHER
IS ALSO WILLING TO MEET HIM TO. JOHN IS A GREAT GUY. I THINK HE WOULD
LIKE HIM.THANKS FOR LISTENING GINA - 11 February 2003 -
BORN IN NAPA CA -LASTKNOWN AREA HE LIVED WAS PALMDALE CA.
Kathy Caudle | @ | url
Hello, again. If I could leave just this one more message here, I
would be deeply grateful. The provisions of the federal law I am about
to cite discrimiantes against those mothers (and fathers) [commonly
referred to as 'birth' parents] who've wrongly lost children to adoption
because [a] social worker[s] fraudulently removed their child[ren]
from their custody. Title 42 United States Code (U.S.C.) section 5113(b)(10)(v)(vii)
and also Title 42 U.S C. section 5113(C)(2)(G) both deny funding for
support groups for those mothers and fathers described above while
simultaneously provides money for the same kind of groups for adoptive
parents and adoptive children. When I first studied this federal law
I realized it's no wonder social workers and anyone else who arranges
adoption act so boldly in practicing misrepresentation and deceit
(elements of fraud) in securing infant babies for the supply-and-demand
adoption industry. This message is being left so that others in addition
to myself can lobby Congress for reform to these provisions of federal
law. Thank you, again. - 11 February 2003 - 679 South 500
East, Salt Lake City, Utah, 84102
Losing
Our Babies