Letter
to Editor re: Gladney Home,
sent to Dallas and Fort Worth newspapers
To
The Editor;
I
am writing in reference to one of your local "landmarks", the
Gladney Service, aka the Edna Gladney Home for Unwed Mothers.
This facility was featured on a segment of "Good Morning America"
recently.
To
say that I was appalled is putting it mildly. I had hoped the
days when young, pregnant women were warehoused and groomed for
the benefit of the infertile upper middle class was over. The
emphasis was put on the "resort-like" atmosphere. Yes, and champion
race horses are well housed and fed and cared for because of what
they produce!
These
young women have only been told one side of the "birth"mother
story. One young lady remarked that she was surrendering her baby
so that she could continue her education. Hey Honey! Did you know
that you can continue your education even if you KEEP your baby?
Did you, or any of the other young ladies lured into the Gladney
adoption brokerage facility know that the so-called "open" adoption
is legally unenforceable if the adopters so choose? Have you or
any of the other young women talked to any of us who have lost
children to adoption? Have you been made aware that there is another
side to the story?
I
am a reunited mother of two adult adoptees. I have (and always
will) grieved for the loss of my children and the years that I
missed with them. I feel like a knife is being turned in my heart
every time I hear them call another woman "Mom". I thought
that I would be at peace for having done what I was told was the
"right thing". I did not reckon on the pain, the emptiness, the
hole in my heart that never healed. I still suffer from health
and emotional problems directly attributed to the loss of my children.
I
was told that I was not the best choice for a mother for my own
children. I was missing two important things, it seemed..money
and a husband. Well, my children went to two married, well-off
couples and their lives are a mess! Adoption did not make their
life better. They both have suffered from feelings of rejection
and abandonment. They both have had difficulties throughout their
lives that the children I raised did not have. What's wrong with
this picture?
Do
you know that, in the nine months your baby lives and grows inside
you, that bonding is happening? Did you know that your child will
be listening for YOUR voice, for YOUR scent, for the tone and
timbre of YOUR heartbeat? Did you know that these infants suffer
from preverbal grief? Did you know that most adopters do
not even recognize the "primal wound" these babies carry?
How many children do you know that went on to become healthy,
well-adjusted adults who were raised by only one parent? I know
of many! The "nuclear family" is not always necessary for good
child development. The emotional pain of adoptees is well documented.
I
urge you to question the indoctrination you have received from
the Gladney baby-transfer facility. You might not get the financial
goodies you are getting right now, but what's a dip in a pool
compared with yours and your child's future? Ask your family for
help. Get child-support from the father. Look into government
programs and other programs that will help financially and with
day care while you finish your education or train for a better
paying position. Check online for "birth" mother support groups
who can help give you information. But please, please, for both
your sakes', KEEP YOUR BABY.
Sincerely
and With Hope,
Robin Westbrook, Reunited Mother
Copyright © 2001
